December 9, 2018 at 6:55 pm #105144
I find telling myself to not take it personally just isn’t working anymore.
It’s like a repete cycle. I leave her alone, and then she comes back around again after a month of silence. we start talking again, this goes on for a couple months. at first the conversations are good, then they slowly dwindle down. It ends up being me initiating contact 100% of the time. at first we talk every day, then every other day, then once a week, and so on. It’s like pulling teeth. The responses become only one or two words, and responses take longer and longer, till it becomes no responses at all, even to questions. we see each other a couple times during this, but getting together and making plans is also like pulling teeth. I end up going into anxiety overload, and cant figure out what to do.. Cant find advice, and I end up listening to my anxiety speak. I tell myself I’m being annoying, or am boring, and she just wants me to get lost. Finally I end up giving up, and I leave her alone. A month or so of feeling horrable over this goes by and then she’ll come back around again, and the cycle repetes, again and again.
After this last time I said I want to learn about adhd, and how to react better, so it isn’t like this anymore. But here I am again feeling like I’m annoying and boring, and just not important at all to her.
I really don’t know what to do, I love her very much, and I hate it when we don’t talk at all. I don’t want it to go back to silence again. It seems like when we go silent, it hurts things more and more each time… ugghhh
December 9, 2018 at 11:21 pm #105148
Not knowing either one of you and basing this off of what you said, it sounds to me like the love is one sided. Regardless whether you have ADHD or not, you deserve to be with someone that doesn’t ignore you. There is no excuse to go that long without communication unless she is unaware of your feelings, and believes you two are just friends? I go long periods of time without talking to my friends, but never ignore them.
I have ADHD and often forget to respond to my boyfriend if I am at work, or in the middle of something. BUT, I don’t go more than a day. I will think about him and pick up my phone to see how his day is going and that is when I generally realize I hadn’t responded to him, or checked my phone when I heard the notification go off. He knows this about me, and knows how easily I get side tracked and forget. If it is important he will text again, or call, if I don’t respond in a certain amount of time. Otherwise he knows I will respond once I remember to check my phone.
If she is aware of your feelings, and does what you have described, then myself, I would not respond to her next time she came around. That is neither a friend, nor someone that cares about you. There is someone out there that will appreciate you and your feelings,
December 10, 2018 at 11:38 am #105181
You don’t give enough information for me to understand the full situation.
What is her relation to you?
What is her relation to ADHD?
Are there comorbid conditions ie autism, bipolar, depression, etc?
Is she on any meds?
I can understand your frustration and if she is unwilling to change or explain, then you might need to move on.
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