Being overwhelmed is turning me into a horrible mum – any advice please?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Getting Things Done Being overwhelmed is turning me into a horrible mum – any advice please?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Penny Williams 6 months ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #141486

    Honey18
    Blocked

    I am really struggling with life in general at the moment.
    I work part time & have 2 children ages 8 & 12. This weekend I feel I have been awful to them as I have so much on my mind that I have been short and snappy with them.
    I don’t really know where to start. I haven’t been diagnosed with ADD but I feel I do have alot of the traits, particularly procrastination and difficulty focussing. My mind jumps from thought to thought. My house is clean but always feels disorganised, people often can’t things and it causes stress. My 8 year old likes to help but at times I find her constant chatter a little annoying as I am trying to think about what needs doing. My 12 year old cannot do a thing for himself and blames me and my husband when he can’t find things.
    Planning meals is a nightmare as they are both fussy, trying to make one meal for the family is a nightmare! I worry they are not getting enough good nutrients as they are so fussy and mainly like rubbish foods. I have spent hours reading about how to meal plan and still don’t seem to be able to do it!

    This morning I couldn’t find any clean underwear even though I know I washed a load on Friday. Stressful as trying to get ready for work. Kids announce they need things as I’m about to leave the house. I spend alot of time tidying up only to turn round and see more mess. I don’t want to live in a perfect home but I do want it to be somehow organised and not tripping over stuff all the time. We have alot of stuff despite me filling a charity bag every couple of weeks.

    I don’t want to take medication for ADD (if I have it) as I already take meds for an autoimmune condition and don’t want any more!
    I just want to find ways of managing my problems so that I can be relaxed and happy. I have read hours and hours worth of suggested solutions for my disorganisation but I just can’t seem to implement them.

    I waste far too much time on my phone looking for ‘solutions’. I end up not paying my kids enough attention and I feel terrible at the time wasted on my phone buy I am searching for solutions.

    I feel like it’s all getting me down now and I am completely overwhelmed with the role of mother and responsible adult. My husband does help but at times he will be irritated by my lack of organisation or he will change things I’ve done which makes me feel stupid.

    I just want to enjoy life and my children while they are young but I’m struggling. I have one whole weekday off and every afternoon from work so plenty of time to get stuff done but I still don’t. I waste so much time looking for the perfect answers to everything and not actually doing anything.

    I’m exhausted from it all. Can anyone please help or offer any advice?

  • #141494

    Asmitty
    Participant

    I understand I feel the same way but honestly the medicine has kept me feeling from too overwhelmed. And I have one so I can’t imagine two anger comes out when I’m overwhelmed and I do the quickest thing like junk food also is it something that won’t mix with your auto immune disease? Even if you try to low-dose of something I’m serious I could really help you

  • #141525

    KIM
    Participant

    The medicine only helps me about 40%. The other 60% of my improvement was from counseling. I know you’re short on time, but the counseling and medicine really helped me. I hope you can get some help, as it’s a very overwhelming existence.

  • #141553

    Honey18
    Blocked

    KIM I am interested to hear how the counselling helped you. Did you look at practical solutions to help you? How many sessions did you have? Last year I had 3 sessions with and ADD coach which was brilliant. She gave me great ideas but of course I find it hard to implement them or even remember them. She was so good but I think I would be too embarrassed to go back to her now and say I’m not really any further forward. I just don’t seem to be able to do the most simple things that most mums do like cook a decent family meal and keep on top of the house! I just can’t seem to do it. I’m going to have another look back at all the notes I made when I saw the coach and see if I can try again.

    I’d love to hear if anyone else has had counselling or coaching and found it helped. How did you implement the suggestions?

  • #141593

    Penny Williams
    Keymaster

    Terry Matlen is full of great strategies for moms with ADHD (she is one herself). I hear she offered a lot of great advice during this recent webinar, which offers a replay.

    Free Webinar Replay: Moms with ADHD, Unite! How to Shape a Peaceful, Organized Life for You and Your Kids

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.