June 11, 2018 at 6:09 pm #86169kilometalParticipant
I feel like I need to reach out for some advice as I feel like I am battling a battle all alone. My daughter is just shy of her 15 Birthday, has been diagnosed ADHD since age of 6 and anxiety/depression since 10. I can handle the typical ADHD symptoms, but Im struggling with the rage outbursts. They are daily and they are getting worse and more verbally abusive. The only saving grace is after it happens and she has time to calm down she is always sorry and remorseful.But lately there is less of that. She is not a happy girl at all. When she doesn’t get what she wants, she explodes, when things don’t go the right way for her she explodes, when someone says something she doesn’t like she explodes. Everything appears a trigger for her. She also does not want to be an adult someday. She watches shows that are not geared for her age, more like toddler to age 7 at best. At the current time she is watching a show called paw patrol, now she wants sheets for her bed etc…… and if she doesn’t get them she will blow up.
But then on the other hand when she is sick and not feeling well , she is this sweet , lovely , loveable child again. How can this emotion be turned on and off like this? Our medical system is not equipped to handle these kinds of things….. we are on a wait list now for the next 2 years to see a team of medical people to assess her as her paediatrician thinks more is going on with her than we know.
I have read as much as I think I can read , I have done therapies for her that I think might help. She just won’t help herself when she is freaking out. I sit when she is calm and say , What can mom do when you feel anger coming on? She will tell me a solution , so then anger hits and I try to implement what she wanted me to implement and Im told to eff off.
Our whole house is in turmoil and Im not sure how much more we can take. I am at the end of my rope with her…. I love her so much but right now I can’t even stand to be in the same house cause it makes me feel so much anxiety.
Thank you for any advice you have.
June 12, 2018 at 9:24 am #86246Penny WilliamsKeymaster
They key here is to determine what her triggers are and develop coping strategies to manage her emotions better. If you haven’t read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, please do. If you implement his parenting approach it can change your lives. It’s all about working together instead of the typical authoritarian parenting style.
Another consideration is that she may be struggling with anxiety and/or depression. Both can look like anger on the surface.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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