Are there local support groups??

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    • #54607
      heypaul411
      Participant

      for Adults with ADHD? I just turned 52 and for the umpteenth time in my adult life, I am starting over. For the past 35 years, I have lived my life using metaphorical smoke and mirrors. Those who know me think I choose to live like a perpetual Grad student because I’m not motivated by material things. They think that I make mistakes on office paperwork because I’m an absent professor type. They think I didn’t go into teaching or Academics because I don’t suffer fools well at all. The fact that I never married? well that’s because of my chronic Asthma , insecurity about my weight and a smart guy like me needs to find the right woman etc. The real answer to all the above is that I thought myself a unique kind of fraud, who was “faking it until he made it’. But the way I’m going , I’m not going to make it. I will just keep living arm length from the world, living hand to mouth until I can’t work anymore. All because I have the hardest time filling out forms and paperwork , especially Government forms, and have been too fearful too prideful to admit it. What led me here was a question to Google, “I get frustrated filling out forms and paperwork any help?” and it led me here. Just reading basic articles about the shame ADHD people live with lifted some of the weight off my shoulders. I am going to read much more and all the relevant articles. So my question, are there resources for Adults with ADHD that lists local groups and resources. Thank you for allowing me to get this out of my system. look forward to sharing questions and ideas with many of you.

    • #54627
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      There are support groups in some areas. Many find them difficult to come by, and sometimes start their own. Here’s more on finding support:

      Your ADD Life: ADHD Support Groups

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #54782
      MrNeutron
      Participant

      I’ve heard many times about how people with ADHD feel like they have created a false sense of self. Like they really can’t feel who they are inside, so they may have to adopt a personality trait from someone else, or make one up so that they don’t feel invisible or lost.
      Does that seem familiar?

      • #54791
        heypaul411
        Participant

        No Mr. Neutron, it was always more of a “I can’t tell anyone the real truth such as I can’t fill out an application without getting really flustered, because they will think I’m stupid and being perceived as smart is my one ace, besides my folks sacrificed a lot for me..etc”

    • #54904
      anomalocaris
      Participant

      heypaul11: That’s exactly it! It’s a constant battle to keep people from seeing the issues that will make them think I’m stupid.

      • #54910
        heypaul411
        Participant

        I just hope there are some resources I can access before and after I get the doctor’s official diagnosis,and I will, trust me. I am starting over for the umpthteen time in my life , because I have problems with paperwork, I earned college scholarships, I went from being a C-Minus student in high school to getting admit to some top Grad schools , I was on the research faculty at a major university and I have very little to show for a 25 plus year career because I get flustered or have panic attacks when it comes to getting Insurance or worse doing my taxes. I am resigned to never retire, which is not a bad thing I just want it to be my choice .

    • #55004
      hnguyen
      Participant

      i don’t think that i am living in the right area for a support group or i dont have time for one

    • #64586
      arty.cajun
      Participant

      You might want to try Meetup.com When I lived in Florida there was a local support group there via Meetup. I participated in virtual support groups there.

    • #75781
      newenglandrose
      Participant

      Dear heypaul411,
      I searched for support groups in my area and had no luck. I tried through a few AdD professionals and MeetUp.com but no luck. I live in Massachusetts but not IN Boston where their might be more support. I heard from one life coach who works on a sliding scale but unfortunately I am like you and live paycheck to paycheck (single mom/no college degree) so I can’t afford anyone who doesn’t take insurance. As it is, my son sees an amazing counselor but he doesn’t take insurance so we pay cash. It’s a lot but worth it for my son to learn coping skills for school and his self esteem (Selective Mutism, AdD). I have a few suggestions just from my own experience…If you haven’t done these things already: Get diagnosed and get on medication. If the first one doesn’t seem to help trust your body/mind and talk to the doctor. Don’t wait 3 or 6 or 12 months (my dr made me wait 3 years before changing and I knew the first month it wasn’t working!). Also, talk to your dr about your anxiety attacks. you can get treatment for those too! Trust me I suffered for 30 years with debilitating anxiety because I didn’t know I could get help. If the meds make you feel “out of touch” or “numb” talk to your dr right away…there are so many options…don’t suffer! You should feel GOOD and be HAPPY. Life can be a wonderful thing if you take care of yourself – it’s not too late! As far as filling out forms or doing taxes…ask for help. Put your pride/ego away and ASK FOR HELP. There are many people (like me, volunteer tax people at your local library, local university, etc.) who WANT to help you – it doesn’t matter if you have 10 university degrees or you are 30, 40, 50 years old or a MAN! If you need help – someone can help you. We aren’t all perfect and we can’t all do everything…that is why the world has: doctors, cashiers, accountants, car mechanics, electricians, teachers, secretaries, FRIENDS – because we, as humans, need each other. Paul, find people who care kind and caring and your life will improve. I promise.

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