March 4, 2018 at 6:58 am #77863
I read a lot on here about articles for women, but they are all about women with ADD. I am a woman with ADHD-combined, meaning I am both inattentive and hyperactive, but for some reason this website assumes only men can be hyper and women are just the gentle quiet daydreamers that get overlooked – and therefore often get diagnosed at a later age.
Rather than an overly present, drama queens who keep running around, talk out of turn, blurt out answers and try to be the centre of attention at all times (and thus get a diagnosis at the age of 7 and are the only girl at every meeting)? Because that’s me but I feel completely alone in this. I feel as if I’m not allowed to be hyperactive, because I’m a girl. Anyone else feeling like this?
March 4, 2018 at 1:43 pm #77882adhdgal25Participant
Me. I am definitely hyperactive. I am constantly doing something. I always doping something! If I am not actively and physically doing something, my mind takes over. Its like there is a tornado going round and round in my mind. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 24 years of age and I am about to turn 26
March 4, 2018 at 5:00 pm #77888NoteParticipant
My six year old girl is. She started Kindergarten this school year and I took her out a month and a half later to homeschool her, which I was expecting I’d have to do anyway. She can generally sit still for certain activities, like playing with Legos, but she’s mostly a mover and it made school very hard for her. I was constantly getting notes that she wasn’t doing her work. She has trouble doing work at home too but she’s slowly getting better about it, even though she generally tries to get out of doing it at all which is tiring for me.
Thank you for letting me know there are other women out there living with ADHD. It’s so noticeable how different she is compared to other girls her age. But she enjoys her life and being excited and moving around so I hate to have to try to conform her. I’m hoping time will eventually calm her down as it did my brother who has severe ADHD.
March 11, 2018 at 1:36 pm #78692
Awww bless. I was that age too when I got a diagnosis. I struggled a lot in school too. It can be so tough! But please don’t isolate her, as this was done to me in school. Teachers made me sit in the very front of the classroom, under the blackboard (which is usually the detention chair). Also I was placed behind a screen in order to ‘minimise distractions’. Even though they meant well, I usually felt like I was punished. I hated the screen and doodled on it as I hoped that when the screen was completely vandalised and graffitied they would remove it. Which didn’t happen. I went back to my primary school a couple of years ago. The screen was still there, still with my doodles on it. How embarrassing! I was eventually sent to a special needs school for ‘disruptive behaviour’ in class. As I was very intelligent, special needs school didn’t do anything for me. I never learned anything and I became even more disruptive because I was bored all the time. I can only remember the detention room in that school. But yes this all happened in the 1990’s. I’m pretty sure primary schools are far more inclusive nowadays.
March 4, 2018 at 11:04 pm #77900Katy_GParticipant
Definitely with ADHD combined. I could never sit still as a kid. In fact this was always more pronounced than the inattentiveness.
March 5, 2018 at 10:38 am #77930brandikballParticipant
You’re not alone. I was inattentive as a child, but also had a lot of energy. I still do. It’s a challenge for me to sit still for extended periods, and I have to get up and do laps on the stairs at my building at work every hour. I am a motormouth and am extremely extroverted, and have moments where my energy can get almost manic. It makes my husband crazy. LOL.
March 11, 2018 at 1:29 pm #78691
Yes I feel the same way. See it from the positive side: at least you have a husband. I’m 27 and have never had a boyfriend. I’m always scared nobody wants be because I’ve been called a “f*ing psycho” by several men. I’ve been on 4 dates with someone, that’s my record. Usually they run after 2.
March 6, 2018 at 8:18 am #77902duckieParticipant
I got diagnosed with combination type ADHD a month ago, and I’m a 19-year-old cis female in university. My concerta is helping me focus more in class and stuff, but it doesn’t do anything for my fidgeting, impulsive talking or social awkwardness lol
March 6, 2018 at 8:18 am #77901duckieParticipant
I was just diagnosed with combined type this month. I’m super chatty and talk quite impulsively. I fidget like my life depends on it, and I always feel like I have to be doing something. When I’m bored my brain makes up for it by getting anxious and overthinking little that really don’t matter. My Concerta helps with my inattentiveness in class and other places but doesn’t do much for my social interactions
March 6, 2018 at 8:50 pm #78154whisperingwingsParticipant
I also have the ADHD combined type. I think in images, cannot focus, feels too much and daydream a lot. At the same time, I’m also very impatient, interrupts people, blurt out answers, cannot be still and talks a lot if it’s something I’m interested in. I also feel alone because there are few articles on this and when you go out, it seems like most women in society have self control (the way they carry themselves, move around, talk, walk) but I’m all over the place, scattered. Sometimes I feel like a child in an adult body. Society have more expectation to not be a hyperactive woman since they cannot accept hyperactive girls in the first place. You are right, this is you and medications cannot mold us permanently into what society wants. On the bright side, I’m sure you are a really fun person to be around with an active imagination and not boring at all.
March 11, 2018 at 1:15 pm #78688
Thanks so much for the lovely responses, girls :-). I’m so happy to read this as I’ve been feeling really alone lately. I’ve had a diagnosis since I was 7 and have always felt so alone. Lately I have been getting into fights with people, because I’m overly emotional and seem to have no control over how I react – even if I try to be diplomatic – once I’m even a little upset about something I sound ‘confrontational’ and even ‘aggressive’. Of course there are positives to this as I’m usually a very enthusiastic and energetic person. But I’m always ‘full on’, which seems to frustrate people more and more over time. I’m really happy more women seem to have this issue. How many of you struggle with self esteem or mental health issues?
I have low self esteem due to childhood bullying and the general shame of constantly being treated as if there is ‘something wrong with me’. I was ‘always naughty’ and I heard a lot of negative things because of my behaviour and have been told off almost every minute of the day. I still feel like I’m being told off all the time. Does anyone identify with this?
March 11, 2018 at 1:22 pm #78689
I can so identify with the ‘child in adult body’. And yes.. the tone as well. I get told all the time that I’m not emotionally mature and that I sound ‘confrontational’ and even ‘aggressive’ while I’m not at all intending to be. You’re right! There definitely are positives to this as I’m usually a very enthusiastic and energetic person. But I’m always ‘full on’, which seems to frustrate people more and more over time. For example at work. When there are are issues that honestly do upset or frustrate me, but as we’re in a professional environment I am trying to solve it diplomatically. However, that doesn’t succeed as the frustration always shines through and gives me away. How many times I’ve heard I’m ‘unprofessional’ because I simply can’t hide my emotions and keep the stiff upper lip that the British offices expect from me.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 12 months ago by mayo.
March 19, 2018 at 9:43 pm #79365kd69dmParticipant
I feel exactly the same! Like a child trapped in an adult body. I have never felt like I am even from the same planet! Uncomfortable in my own skin. I am very creative, and used to be able to handle social situations with no problem! Now I have gone the oppisite. I am 48 and just now have been officalky diagnosed, and treated for adult ADHD. Its bern a long, hard road. I am still in the early adjustment period. And its getting better. Thank you for sharing your comments!
March 8, 2018 at 5:08 pm #78458IzzyMeParticipant
I have it as well! Most days I can get by. Hyperfocus gets in the way sometimes, other times I find it to be a godsend! Perception has been the hardest thing to deal with for me. It like hearing someone’s feelings through their tone of their voice and the person have no idea what it the world am I even talking or freaking out about. You know.. “Its in the tone of your voice” deal. I perceive something completely different with the sound/tone mixed in with their body language. I get insulted easily and it takes all of me to not lash out in the biggest dramatic way possible! I get emotionally intense.
Im even know to run all day doing a zillion things and never getting anything done! I really have to hone myself in to accomplish a simple task at home. The daydream thing.. that’s an everyday thing to keep myself from getting too stressed out by everyday events. Other times I am so energetic I would have a dozen things done and still have energy left to go out for a very long hike!
Been doing a lot of research myself and like you it is an “either/or deal”. I would suggest to look at the youtube channel “How to ADHD”.. found her to be very useful for information on our type of condition. I say check her out.
March 8, 2018 at 10:16 pm #78472
March 9, 2018 at 10:42 pm #78652lisa.jo.brennanParticipant
Thank you for posting! I have ADHD/ADD too. I definitely feel like a child in an adult body considering my energy level and perspective is so different from other women my age.
March 15, 2018 at 2:35 am #78999Teh BlackbirdParticipant
I’m hyper too. Maybe not hyper in the traditional sense of the word, but I’m fidgety and can’t stop switching from one thing to the next. People notice, so it’s not just me exaggerating. The thing is that I rarely have the energy to do things I need to do. I only have energy to do things I want to do.
March 19, 2018 at 12:32 pm #79297tsanhedraiParticipant
Ladies, nice to meet you, I’m Tammy. I’m a teacher and I train other teachers about ADHD. I’m trying to spread the word of how awesome we are! I’m 47 and I was diagnosed at the age of 43. My life has changed completely! But I’m lonely. I have a lot of friends but none of them have ADHD, and I feel like I want to be around other people with ADHD so that I don’t feel like the weird one all the time. I want us all to be weird and to have the feeling that we’re normal in our weirdness! Is anybody from the Vancouver area? I’d love to start a social group, cards, drinks, laughter… Anyone interested?
March 21, 2018 at 5:15 am #79484jenlane1016Participant
I am 41. This is a text message to a friend. I’ve tried to edit out any swear words but please forgive if I’ve missed any. It was a very present moment … : “So I stumbled into some information about ADHD and am completely upside down with (a number of words that somewhat but don’t completely fill / define how I’m feeling). I’ve been taking medication for this for several years. How have I not done more research/gained knowledge about something I actively take medication to manage symptoms for? I’m naturally curious about things. I have read countless amounts of literature about subjects that just get filed as useless knowledge in my brain, or put in the “recycle bin” and forgotten. I’m struggling. Half the bullshit that I’ve gone through fits in or was born from a chaotic box called ” ADHD and it’s symptoms”. What? How are/were the dots not connecting? How did I have a box and not put so many things /events/situations/feelings/characteristics in [it]?
I feel physically nauseated. I’m sitting on the the edge of something and it makes me sick to think that so many of the negative things and/or happenings in my life could have been managed…. or possibly identified and stopped before they happened.
(He asked about what my research uncovered here)
“Research (exasperated)My mind is a thousand tornadoes of unfocused focused( yes that’s what I mean) chaos currently. Somebody help me manage. I panicked earlier. Panicked. Threw up. Can’t stop flashing words. Brain wants to stop. That’s just with minor categorizing. Currently procrastinating further the detailed knowledge and what to c”
(At this point I fell asleep. I was exhausted and had nothing left)
I started paying attention to myself. I always running. My mind works like a flash of pictures/photos and words. I forget a lot. I work hard to finish tasks. I start and get distracted my something that has to be done in order to make the first thing work for me… or just get distracted to something else. I can’t remember parts of my childhood. That’s the thing thing that got my mind so twisted in the text. I had noticed or pondered parts of my Childhood and couldn’t recall things. Then I came across a small blurb in something I was reading that said “forget about having memories “… or something similar. It stopped me in my tracks. And twisted my mind about.
I’m doing a little better now but …
April 21, 2018 at 4:58 pm #82507newenglandroseParticipant
I understand every word you say. 47 years old. Mom of 2 (all 3 of us have AdD). I was diagnosed at 39 years old (I urged my doctor to listen to ME). email me…I wish I could take away your pain. I struggle daily (on meds, too). firstname.lastname@example.org
I can at least listen – inside of my head feels like a TV with a broken remote control…stations flipping constantly because I have so many thoughts – even at night when I try to sleep. No one in my life understands. But all of YOU do. Thank goodness.
March 19, 2018 at 2:13 pm #79313liasamturnParticipant
I was only diagnosed during my 20s as I got through school well…. I do think girls are mostly inattentive and are often overseen because of hyper boys – I’m a teacher and the neglect of adhd girls because boys seem to be more outwardly troublesome and adhd has historically been a ‘male problem’ is horrifying.
It was so overlooked that I didn’t even realise myself that I had a hyperactivity problem until I started work. It was quite catastrophic, actually, because it seemed to explode all of a sudden and get me into a myriad of bad situations. Even though I’m now properly medicated and don’t go off the wall anymore, I have to be constantly doing at least 3 things at once (like watching tv, researching 100 random things and planning lessons simultaneously). I’m still mostly inattentive/paying attention to the wrong things,but I seem to have found a group of women on here that have the same combined symptoms. I do think that female adhd tends to be more nuanced.
Good luck 🙂
March 19, 2018 at 4:40 pm #79333tpcrespiParticipant
Thank you for posting this! I wasn’t diagnosed as ADHD until age 35. I’m not fortunate to be combined type lol. My whole life I’ve always beenfullif energy. The only way I can describe it is like being in a lifelong mania state (I’m not bipolar btw, just refrrrncing that as an example). But because I’ve got a high IQ and never got into trouble withdrugs, the law, didn’t get knocked up or diseases— I was overlooked as just hyper. Yet I’m so forgetful and energetic I could never stay at a jobmore than 3-4 yrs before getting bored, etc. Yet I’ve always struggled (dropped out of college, divorced, bad with my credit yet always manage to somehow support myself). I get frustrated when there’s all these examples of successful ppl with ADHD and not those if ya (especially women diagnosed as adults) who struggle. Ugh!!!!
March 19, 2018 at 4:41 pm #79334sales12Participant
I’m 49 and hyper! I’m crazy my friends say – funny, mad and DRAINING! how old are you? I’m in the UK.
March 19, 2018 at 5:09 pm #79340anbase10Participant
I am 72 and have always been
hyperactive. When I was reading
a questionaire after my son’s ADHD diagnosis my mom suddenly blurted out “oh my god that was you in 1955.” LOL Thanks mom
March 19, 2018 at 5:15 pm #79343sales12Participant
I’ve been on Aquasym XL 10mg for 2 weeks. I love it – I’m calm and organised. I think I need 20 mg though. I’m scared what that’ll feel like though. I don’t want to lose me altogether and worry that I’ll be a zombie on 20mg. What does that feel like? anyone?
March 19, 2018 at 5:30 pm #79350bmck89Participant
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 6 and they definitely got the diagnosis right! Even though I have calmed with age (29 now), I am still hyperactive when my Ritalin wears off during the day and you are certainly not alone.
I’m super awkward in social situations even when my meds are in my system. I will blurt out crap and other people will look at me like they can’t believe I said that or they don’t know how to react. At work I type loud, I talk loud, I walk loud. It’s part of who I am and as hard as I try to be “normal” I can’t mask my ADHD when it comes to those little annoying ‘ticks’ I have. It’s frustrating because people don’t understand why I can’t just “calm down”. I’ve learned that I have to accept myself the way God made me and I can’t let other people bother me who ridicule me or can’t understand why I do and say certain things. It takes a long time to not care what others think, especially if you yearn to be liked and want so badly to please other people.
I developed anorexia when I was in elementary school and I struggled with it all through school and then I developed bulimia in college. I despised myself so much because of things that I could not control and I thought that if I could just control my body and appearance to look a certain way I would be happier with myself and other people wouldn’t mind my awkwardness so much because I waa skinny and pretty. I went through treatment 4 years ago and if it wasn’t for that and my wonderful support system I would probably still be living at my parents with no idea of what I wanted to do with my life except going out every night getting drunk and showing off my skinny little a$$ and looking for the wrong kind of guys to give me some sort of gratifcation for the torture I was inflicting on myself to stay ‘pretty’.
I surround myself with people who have no time for drama and who love me for me, ticks and all. That seems to have been the best way for me to recover from my eating disorders as well as learn who I am and what my passions and interests are without that demon constantly holding me back.
I still have issues with my weight. 2 years after treatment I had gone from 129lbs to 207lbs. I was discovering all the foods that I had never EVER let myself enjoy before and it caught up to me, quickly. I was a new woman with impulsivity issues on top of ADHD and apparently my body and my mind needed and for the first time wanted to eat! Now 4 years after treatment I’ve stayed steady at 188lbs for the past year. I need to lose quite a bit more to be truly healthy but ADHD makes it so difficult to find the motivation to eat right and exercise. Especially when for so long I could find the will power to stop eating and I would lose 10 lbs in a week. Now if I even look at a freaking donut I will gain 2lbs. Anyone else have issues with instant gratifciation and losing weight?
Sorry, I got on my soap box for awhile with this post. But girl, you are not alone!
- This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by bmck89.
March 19, 2018 at 5:53 pm #79355
Omg, I absolutely LOVE seeing this post in existence! I too am of the combined type. I’ll be 39 next week, married with 4 children. Diagnoses presented itself a couple times as a child but my parents were against it because they felt o was being misplaced in a racist title due to the stigma it had on a lot of misdiagnosed African American youth whom teachers just did not know how to properly educate of work with. Long story short, my struggle was real but I had to adjust in the worst way-but it is doable. I had the opportunity to get diagnosed again at 19, but I stubbornly refused to allow the diagnosis to be attached because I wanted to ignorantly prove I was just as good, if not better, than anyone else without the label. Fast forward to my first year in law school, after passing ALL the essay portion of the 1L exams (but failing miserably on the multiple choice), my Contracts professor was shocked to learn (it was anonymous grading) that the perfect essay paper she graded from me resulted in a C. All my grades were the same and I was a sneeze away from academic probation, alrhohhh I knew the law just as well, if not better than my peers. My boyfriend, turn Fiance (and now husband) at the time was in his second to last year of dental school and he convinced me to go beyond my stubbornness and allow them to know my truth (ADHD). Long story short, do for retested just to prove what I already knew from the ages of 4,7,11, & 19- I was ADHD of the combined type. Nope, didn’t grow out of it, nope, not the ADD silent girl type frequently wrote about, but the good old classic ADHD combined type-the very essence of blurting our, interrupting, talkative, bossy, energetic and everything that is supposed to be what they say the males are. I finally allowed the truth to be attached to me and by way of my rights through the ADA, has my accommodations given with my test (time and a half) and oh my gosh the difference it made! Everyone always got As off my work because of how I am able to disssvr Dow outlines and notes-because of what works for me. I can take a 40 page lecture and county sense it to 8-10 pages that make sense to my crazy brain, a brain of someone with autism, and a brain of someone with not disorders and it made sense. I even made honor roll my last year of law school, traveling between states and pregnant the entire year! I didn’t start taking medications until after 30, and even then, off and on b/c of pregnancy and nursing. I’ve been pregnant ( times (had a miscarriage on pregnancy #4) and breastfed all 4 of my boys (yes, all boys-and one who is autistic and I believe one of my younger ones shows signs of possibly also having ADHD) for a year so no medication during those times. My children are currently 2,7,9&11 (all have birthdays coming up this year) and I’m married to a man that has suffered all the issues written about those being married to an ADHD spouse, but in this case, the spouse is a woman.
I share only to encourage and let you all know none of you out there are alone. I’m
I’m Southern California, not Vancouver, but I would love for us to like maybe create a Facebook group or even something like GroupMe or just an email club where we connect. We can maybe do a free conference call once a month, submit birthday emails or greeting caress, be there for one another as a support group and understand this is not a lonesome journey because technology has allowed the world to be so much smaller. I’m game to be open about my situation because it can be a blessing to others and I too can learn and be embraced by all of you. Also, for the ones dealing with children who have ADHD like some of us, we can offer support from experience. My story is often considered phenomenal because of the limitations they put on many of us with certain disabilities. Well I’m a loving testimony that the sky is the limit and that just because a child is different doesn’t mean they cannot succeed! I’ve earned 3 degrees, taught a writing course at a Tier 1 university and have proven time and time again that the sky is the limit-even with my son that has autism…he is in 3rd grade and has been the top ranked academically in his general education classroom consistently (even though he still has pull out services for RSP and speech). I understand legally how to be certain the school systems, public or otherwise, are held accountable and properly educating those of us with different brain functions. We are all owed certain opportunities and should not be ostracized because certain educators are not properly trained in how to accommodate or teach children and young adults that have diverse brain functions. So no! None of you are alone, but let’s figure out a way for us to come together so we know that beyond reading an article. Everyone cannot afford coaching or certain therapy, etc., but if you can read this article you can respond and we can make this happen.
My email is email@example.com I’m ready for us to support each other. Let’s not just talk about it, let’s be about it!
March 19, 2018 at 6:08 pm #79356heidinanceParticipant
Hyper active, spaz, the hummingbird, and my favorite, my mothers chandelier swinger.I was diagnosed when I was in kindergarten or first grade. I didn’t speak to anyone except my older sister until the age of two. I am a self-taught reader at the age of four. Nobody really told me what that “really meant”, to be hyper active. I did run everywhere I went. Did not stay with my mother in the grocery store. They told me that I had a difficulty with sitting still, looking at the teacher during class, and talking too much. Has an adult,I found that it is a lot more than what I was told. I didn’t outgrow it and had a lot of problems adjusting in my early 20s. I am glad this post was made. Thank you for helping expose the many of us, the underserved.
March 20, 2018 at 12:23 am #79367
So seriously ladies, let’s form a private Facebook group and chat on the phone like once per month-I have access to free teleconference calls. Outside of myself I had 2 others contact me. Send me an email if you’re down with a free support group.
My email is
March 20, 2018 at 1:55 am #79370EricaParticipant
Absolutely! I’ve been struggling to stay afloat for the last 2 years. You are not alone!
I presented signs of both subsets during very early childhood, but having involved parents/attending an extremely regimented private school combined with 18 years of playing soccer at an Olympic development level kept my symptoms virtually nonexistent.
I was officially diagnosed 2 years ago. I knew something was wrong when I changed work environments from an office setting to working from home, and all of a sudden I found myself completely out of control. I would hyper focus on work sometimes well into the middle of the night, not even realizing how much time has seemingly evaporated. I travel for work every week and I missed the majority of my flights for the first 6 months on the job. It still takes me roughly 3 hours to do expense reports others can finish (correctly, whereas mine get returned most times) in less than 30 mins.
I finally scheduled my first appointment with a psychologist and she diagnosed me almost instantly. To your hyperactivity question, 15 mins into the evaluation she asked “have you had any coffee today?”. I indicated to her that I stay far away from caffeine, so we discussed my shocking (yet enlightening!) diagnosis and she referred me to a psychiatrist to explore my care options.
March 20, 2018 at 8:36 am #79373StefiehParticipant
Good Morning everyone,
I have anxiety and depression my whole life. I just turned 36 and I am a mom of 4. I have a full time job as a credentialed family peer advocate and youth transition coordinator. I also decided to finish up some schooling that seems to have been taking forever. 4 classes on top of everything. My youngest is 8 mths and she is cutting teeth and doesn’t sleep with GERD, my 6 year old has ADHD and sensory processing so life is hectic all the time. I have a 9 yr old and a 19 yr old and they have there own lifestyles as well. I thought for the longest time that it was just my anxiety playing a role with my control issues or how I respond to too much stimulation. I get kind of nutty and get so overwhelmed but if my life isn’t that way my mind raises all the time. I have to have things done a certain way or I will meltdown. I’ve been told to just get over it but I really have and I can’t just get over things. I have to say things right away because I think I’m going to forget to tell the other person so I will politely apologize for cutting them off ahead of time. I will start one project and find myself doing 6 more not on purpose and then fall apart if I can’t get them all done at once. Squirrel!!! Is how I am all day. I’m either shy or very loud. I read about how ADHD can have the same symptoms as anxiety and it makes sense now, but always thought it was the anxiety taking over. When I was little, stuff like this was not around and people just thought you were odd. I know there are others like myself so no you are not alone:-)
March 20, 2018 at 2:23 pm #79420newenglandroseParticipant
I’m so hyper and get bored so easily that I stopped reading your comments (sorry)…I scan things when I’m reading because I want to get to the end. I was diagnosed at age 39 because I begged my doctor to diagnose my insane lifetime of procrastination, tardiness, clutter, non-stop thoughts, talking, etc. When someone is talking to me I’m thinking about what I’m going to say – it’s as if there’s someone inside me raising their hand for the teacher really excited to share. I absolutely hated when my husband used to say “your stories”. They aren’t stories. They are my feelings, thoughts, experiences. I notice everything around me and have to tell someone. I talk to people in line at the store. My parents do it, my brother does it, my grandparents did it and now my older son does it – even though he used to make fun of me! I always thought I just had an outgoing personality. I was confident and thought I was fun. Now I feel like a burden to people and try to keep my thoughts to myself. It is like trying to keep a tea kettle from whistling when the water is hot! Since I was at least 3 years old my mind races at night and I can’t sleep. When I close my eyes with the lights out I still see colors and lights and movement and I can’t stop thinking about my day. I feel like the only person in the world who is like this. My friends and family put up with me because it’s just who I am. There are two kinds of people. Those who like me. Those who don’t. None in between. I accepted that a long time ago. I keep my circle of friends small-keeps the stress down. I also have severe (but treated) anxiety. My ADHD/AdD is treated. I don’t use social media. I think it would make me crazy! ha ha – I love know you are all out there – especially you girls “my age” born in the 70s when boys were called “hyper” and we girls were called “daydreamers” – those were the days, am I right?! I knew I wasn’t daydreaming but no one believed me. I couldn’t explain why I didn’t “hear” they teacher’s instructions. I was polite and quiet back then and like school. Well, now I know – and I’m helping my two boys (ages 13 and 18) to understand who they are with anxiety and AdD and Selective Mutism AND fun personalities!!! I wish we all lived close so we could gab in person – but I supposed we’d talk over one another! I live in New England, USA!
July 22, 2018 at 9:57 pm #89091Mommyof5Participant
I’m 38 and I’m a momma to 5 kids When I was 2I went to the doctors cause I was overwhelmed
And not enjoying my life and wanted to avoid
Everyone I was put on antidepressants and
Continued too take them. My son at 4 was diagnosed with severe Adhd and I found myself overwhelmed and having a hard time keeping up with my routines that I established from reading flylady I went back to the doctors and got upped on antidepressants milligrams nothing lasted
long before another situation in life that I overreact or say something I should of not said I found I was always making friends with other moms trying too fit in but soon or even years as soon as I got upset or share much I was rejected
Ignored or I was the only one putting effort in the friendships I found myself done and that it was too much having a lot of friends because I rararely had time too hang out since 5 kids and a hubby was a lot for me too keep up with. I
New something was still wrong with me but I was scared too find out till 4 years ago when I went too the psyciatrist for my first time who with just meeting me agreed with depression and anxiety and said a lot of my symptoms resemble what moms feel like with all the demands that are on you my youngest child is 4 now and only now recently I got diagnosed with ADD. I live by
List Calender’s I’m so glad that there is a name too my crazy and that its Genetic and that’s just how my brain is wired I’m much better too
Not have any of my past friends in my life since I can only assume I was too much for them I get it and I would feel the same but its still hurtful when not everyone is going to accept
U but now I can finally rest knowing everything I went through was because I was around the non
ADD friends. I have my family my kids and a few friends that I can count on one hand and that’s all I can really have and Trust
July 23, 2018 at 1:40 am #89094
Mommy of 5, please send me an email. We have a magnificent international women’s group for women who have and/or take care of those with ADHD. I’m happy to hear your discoveries about yourself and your diagnoses seem to have proven and filled the gaps on some areas of IOU’s life. However, you should never feel you are on an island on this journey. We welcome you with open arms, if you so desire. No commitment or any fees necessary. Just a safe space and place to be honored,respected, loved, encouraged and motivated by other women who often struggle liken to you. Thinks about it.
March 21, 2018 at 6:54 pm #79564
We Started a Women’s ADHD support group-just email for now. Anyone may join. Interested? Send email to
The more I go back and read post/response, the more it shows how much of us have a lot in common. I too was born in the 70s (late 70s for me) and this stuff has been around forever, just labeled differently depending on where you grew up.
You all are NOT ALONE! Be blessed.
April 2, 2018 at 1:31 pm #80567
Hey thanks! That sounds wonderful! I’d love to join your support group, especially if it’s an online group as I won’t be able to attend meetings as most of you are based in America I assume. I’m in London, UK. Unless there are more people from the UK (London) out there?
March 22, 2018 at 1:12 pm #79614is_shepherdParticipant
First of all ladies realize there is nothing wrong with you. Your brain is wired differently than the average person. Society is gender biased in favor of males. Females who do not behave according to cultural norms are punished and vilified. Assertive men are ballsey, assertive women are bitches. Do yourself a favor and educate yourself on the genetics of ADHD. This is not a defect rather a different brain. Yes, there are skills and knowledge needed in order to function successfully in this boring, rule driven society we live in that is geared for the average brain. Do not think of yourself as defective. You are not.
April 22, 2018 at 11:51 am #82517JollyParticipant
Hey! I am a teenager in freshman year, and I am almost 15. I feel like i”m the youngest in this conversation, but that’s OK, cause it doesn’t matter because we all relate!! I am SUPER SUPER hyper and I always have to be fidgeting or getting up from my seat and sighing out to go to the “bathroom” but really I just walk around the halls. Does anyone feel super restless inside of them? I always feel like I can run a million miles and still be active! I definitely think that I have ADHD,but I have not gotten diagnosed yet.I have some inattentive symptoms like daydreaming in class, getting bored easily, and getting distracted. And I definitely have A LOT of the hyperactivity/impulsivity symptoms, I talk super fast, I always have to be holding something, like a fidget cube. Does anyone get annoyed at you guys for tapping your pencil on the table? It happens to me a lot. So yeahhhhh. Thats’ me. DO you guys think that I would get a diagnosis?
April 22, 2018 at 1:02 pm #82521
To Jolly (15 hyper girl) and others like her (and I am one of those awesome hyper girls, though I’m 39)…send me an email if you want to connect. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org
If you have access to the WhatsApp then we have a free international forum we would love for you to be a part of-just a bunch of us women folk with ADHD. Have an awesome day.
Love yourself and smile!
La Kerie Williams
May 6, 2018 at 3:40 pm #83677shopping-buzzParticipant
I get it… Hyper one minute and couch potato the next…. I started taking 60mg of Vyvanse for 2 months now and it has been a huge blessing !! No crash late in the day.. I have been able to focus like never before. It mellows me out in a good way. I am able to organize and complete daily chores unlike before. I feel more confident and able to deal with large groups so much better.. You might want to ask your Doctor about it… Working wonders for me !!!!
September 3, 2018 at 6:42 pm #98079stewarln52284Participant
Yep. That girl you described was me but I went undiagnosed until 33. Pretty uncommon, according to my psychiatrist, for someone with a more severe case of combined ADHD to go undiagnosed for so long. However, my brother has autism caused by a seizure disorder so my issues were kind of minimized and dismissed.
I think this is a big reason that other diagnoses crept in. First, anxiety…as far back as I can remember and about everything. Then, obsessive thoughts and OCD. Finally, it took it’s toll and I was diagnosed with severe recurring depression from 18 on. Until I was finally diagnosed and prescribed the correct meds.
Would things have been different had I been diagnosed sooner? I am pretty sure they would have. Is that a bad thing? Not sure yet.
December 23, 2018 at 11:26 am #105821merinccParticipant
Hi! My 38 year old daughter who is super hyper, talks loud and yells, cries,cannot focus to talk to, no one, cries because she has no friends, constantly is remembering all the trauma of her childhood, always in trouble. As a child she was super hyperactive.I am tempted to get her on some medication, but she is afraid of doctors.She has alot of anxiety. It is so tiring to see her like this. We are pretty much isolated. It has been a long 38 years. I just don’t know what to do.
December 24, 2018 at 10:13 pm #105835Ella CParticipant
Yes I have felt this too. I have always had hyperactive tendencies. Now that I’m older I can hold it in, but it’s HARD. Like sitting still in church or class and just listening and not fidgeting takes me so much more effort than the average person.
When I go hang out with friends, i can still get a little excited and carried away. This is a part of myself I used to be ashamed of, but i have now come to terms with how that is a part what makes me who I am, and true friends will accept me for that.
Of course there is a time and a place for everything, but never try to be someone you aren’t 😊
March 11, 2018 at 9:08 pm #78702NoteParticipant
Yeah, it was definitely tough and the teacher just couldn’t spend the time/have the patience with her that my daughter needed (and you seemed to have had similar issues back then and everything you said I can generally see happening to her). For instance, the teacher assessed her as only being able to count to 12 when she could, in fact, count to 100+ and could count by 10’s as well (She can count by 2’s and 5’s, etc, now, and has already mastered everything for Kindergarten). She’s just doing much better at home. About the isolation, our city libraries have homeschooling STEM programs, among other things, and we go to everything that’s age appropriate for her. We’re also part of a couple local homeschooling groups. So, yeah, I’m doing the best I can! Next school year, we’re going to be considering placing her back in public school, but we still haven’t come to a final decision on it.
I mentioned my brother before. Back in the 80’s when we were kids, my small town had no idea how to help a ADHD child maintain control. I remember, one day at school, we heard shouting and everyone in all the classrooms came out to watch my brother being carried literally kicking and screaming by 3 or 4 people because he just lost it. Times have changed and teachers are generally more able to handle those types of situations now, I think, although it’s still not a perfect in schools and probably never will be due to limited staff and budget.
March 19, 2018 at 5:25 pm #79345anbase10Participant
Equasym is a stimulant, you won’t get zombie-like on a stimulant. It neither sedates or tranquilizes you.
March 20, 2018 at 9:11 am #79382Penny WilliamsKeymaster
You shouldn’t get zombie-like on a stimulant. If you do, the dose is too high or it’s not the right medication. It can happen, but it necessitates change if it does. 😉
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Trainer on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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