Am I in denial? Or is my boy just a little boy?

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    • #68463

      Hi everyone. I am a single mother of a 5 year old little boy. He started Kindergarten in August, he was not in school for two weeks when his teacher called and suggested he had ADHD. I was actually offended by this because he is 5 years old, how do you expect a 5 year old to learn a routine in less than 2 weeks. Well that was just the beginning, since then she has said she is concerned with his behavior in class (his inability to focus on tasks the class is working on).

      I have went to a behavioral therapist with my son, whom said she doesn’t feel that my son is an alarming case. That she has been in his classroom and she has never noticed my son. Well we are in November now, his teacher is still “concerned” with his behavior. On Veteran’s Day I went to have lunch with my son at school and I decided to go back to his classroom for a couple of minutes. Well we walked in and his teacher instructed to class to continue the work they were doing before lunch. My son sat down and got his scissors out and started cutting the paper for his assignment. I noticed my son’s attention start to wander, but not because he was day dreaming. But because I noticed that there was 100 different things going on in the classroom. (There was a child from another table up walking around, another who was “reading” out loud way too loud, another child was crying, there was a little girl at my son’s table who persistently asked the same question over and over again, another child in the front of the class who could not sit still in his seat (so bad that he he fall out of the chair and hit his head on the table) and there was four little girls up front (the teacher had instructed that those finished could go to the front of the room and wait to do a Go Noodle activity) jumping around dancing and singing).

      Now I am 27 years old I COULD NOT FOCUS IN MY OWNS SON’S KINDERGARTEN CLASSROOM! I am baffled to think that she expects my 5 year old son to focus when I can’t even focus on my own son with everything that is going on. My son is five, and he is a tad spoiled from where my mother watched his sometimes while I got my BS degree. But after being in his classroom, and I could totally be wrong because I am not a doctor, but I do not think my son has ADHD (I think he is a tad spoiled and needs to learn structure and needs better discipline from his mother). And then of course his teacher needs to learn to have better control over her classroom. When I was in Kindergarten many moons ago, we did ONE TASK at a time. We didn’t start a new one until everyone was done. You can’t have 100 different things going on and expect a 5 year old to focus and sit still. But once again I am not a doctor, I am a mother who knows her son is 5 and he’s a little boy. I’m not in denial am I?

    • #68675
      Penny Williams

      Teachers usually make these observations by comparing one child’s behavior and performance at school against the group of peers and what they are able to do. The teacher is likely signaling that he’s struggling in some areas, or behind in some areas. ADHD is a lot more than just inattention.

      Ultimately, the only way to know what’s going on is to have an evaluation. I’d start with asking the school behavior specialist to observe him in the classroom several times and at different parts of the day to see if she feels an evaluation is in order.

      Here’s the complete run-down of what it takes to meet the criteria for a diagnosis of ADHD:

      What Are the Symptoms of ADHD?

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #68720

      You may be completely right, and I agree with ADHD Momma. If the teacher is signaling that there might be an issue, then nothing can be hurt by having an evaluation done. At that age, the child doesn’t even realize an evaluation is occurring.

      To play devil’s advocate though, your experience sounds a lot like my son’s kindergarten year. My son’s teacher said the same things and it wasn’t until the end of the year that the special ed teacher told me what ADHD Momma just told you. The teacher was basing her opinion off of her observations of comparing my child to my child’s peers. The special ed teacher was a lot kinder with her words, which made me less defensive, but she said exactly the same thing. My son was emotionally immature, he showed signs of developmental delays, impulsiveness, anxiety, etc. At the end of that meeting I agreed to the evaluation.

      Think of it this way, if they do an evaluation and there is no issue – no harm has been done. But if the eval does show signs of ADHD or something else, early intervention is key. There’s really nothing to lose.

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