Advise for an adult

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Advise for an adult

Tagged: , , , ,

Viewing 4 reply threads
  • Author
    • #112730

      Hello. I am 28 years old who think has ADHD/ADD. I always felt different and since I was a kid I knew something was not right with me. When I was at school it was impossible for me to concentrate however when I was in a stressful situation I tended to make it work. I have lived a life where I have to wait for the last minute to finish whatever I have to do even when I tried to do it before. When I had homework I had something that stops me to do them. After I was growing up I find out more problem in the social aspect. My friend always mentioned to me that I always look lost or I was easy to distract.
      At school when I was in elementary I got normal grades. But I do remember not to be able to put attention on class and doing homework and study for an important test before the class started. After I start middle school and high school I started to understand that I was different and I discovered ways to hide it from the rest people. I become a shy person with no friend. I got scared to shared or show the way I was to the world. I did my best to avoid people attention because I did not want them to think I was stupid.
      During this time I was discovered how I could improve my study and get good grades. The classes that required logic were easy for me since I did not use concentration. However, those classes that did I find out ways to push my self at the end and make it work.
      After I finished school I started looking for jobs which were a nightmare. I worked for one week and I had to week because I was not able to pay attention for that long of a time. Before I was me and my study, the pressure it was mine but working I had people that expected of me to remember the basic instructions which I could not do it. I got a job at Mcdonalds which was a nightmare for the first five months. After that, I become better and I found out that pressure was helping me to overcome my problems.

      I went to college and I chose a career that fit my condition, computer science, I need one more semester to finish it but it is now that I am afraid that I would not able to function in a job environment where people expect of my attention and concentration. All the project I did in college I made them in parts or at the last minutes but when it comes to a job that does not apply. you have to be in one spot for hours doing what other is telling you. I am not able to function.

      I had a seizure and the neurologist could not find out the reason however I mentioned him about my problem with the concentration and he told me that I may have ADHD/ADD. He requested a test, Neuropsychological tests. I am afraid of it. I know I have depression and anxiety but the last time I asked for help the doctor told me I was ok.

      Can someone give me advice on how I should explain my situation to my doctor?
      what should I expect with this test?
      and how to focus to discover what I have?

      I am not asking for professional answers but more like advise from experiences.

      Thank you

    • #112732
      Simon Help


      First, I do want to praise you for choosing something that you enjoy as a career path. One advantage we have when it comes to ADD/ADHD is the ability to hyperfocus on things that we enjoy.

      Honestly, the summary from your post is pretty on point about the reality of someone with ADD/ADHD. Did you share your doctor those information (Elementary School, Middle/High School & work experiences)? It is perfect in my opinion.

      You should expect that the neurological test might tell you exactly why you have concentration problems. Having an answer is better than always wondering/being stressed about what could be the problem. In my case, after I learned about my ADD, I was finally able to move on, to get the specific help I needed and to find out actual solutions to my problems.

      • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Simon Help.
      • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Simon Help.
      • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Simon Help.
      • #112811

        Thank you for the response. I have never told anybody about it. I do not like to ask for help and I am bad showing my emotion. I learned how to hide my issues and make people think I am good. Indeed, in school teacher believed I was a good student because I was/am a shy person. I made my way of how getting good grades, in many cases, I made few people believe that I was a “genius” no because I wanted but because I knew/know what many people are looking to.

        I have an appointment the next week and I am very nervous because it will last almost five hours and I do not know what to expect. I am not good asking for help since I have been alone with this since I have memory. The whole idea of showing a person my world scares me. I hope this test find out what is inside of me and discover things I know I will protect during that exam. I know how I am and I am praying to break that shell.

      • #112818
        Simon Help

        This person is a professional. Anything that you’ll share with him will remain between you and him. Sharing your world will help him understand what is wrong and will help you release some of the stuffs that you kept for yourself for years.

        Remember that you’re not alone and you deserve to be happy in life.

    • #112841

      First and foremost, you have made the most important discernment by understanding that you are dealing with something different than most people. One of the most important things you must do is properly explain to your doctor what your life is like. You should be able to explain both routine difficulties as well as the challenging situations you encounter on a routine basis.

      Some of what you described in your original post are compensatory techniques that those of us with ADD/ADHD have all managed to create for ourselves. It’s part of survival in the real world. What you (and anybody else for that matter) want with ADD treatment is to get closer to an even playing field than your natural mental-state provides you with. It probably won’t be perfect, but think of having some sort of improvement on the things that fall into the difficult areas of your life. It’s difficult for those of us with ADD/ADHD to ask for help because (for some strange reason – and I personally think its due to the compensatory measures we have developed over our lifetimes) we don’t feel like we deserve it. We deserve it – trust me. The other thing that makes it difficult when pleading your case to a doctor (or anybody else) is that having ADD/ADHD doesn’t always provide the cognition necessary for a person with ADD/ADHD to create and/or formulate a good case for needing treatment. Many times, our minds are so discombobulated that we have difficulties explaining stories in a logical manner with the intent to make a solid and lasting point. Most times our stories (arguments/points) come out piecemeal and scattered and thereby fail to emphasize the full intent of the discourse being shared or explained to another person. So, when dealing with a very intelligent person (doctor) we ADD’ers many times shy away and don’t want to rock the boat – because deep down inside, many of us are simply tired of having other people lord over us and tell us that we are wrong and that we are thinking of the situation all wrong, etc., etc. Although this is a real and very deeply-rooted feeling, this isn’t the correct way to go about this. You must be brave and prepare yourself as much as possible and know that you deserve to be heard. If you feel the doctor isn’t listening to you, or you simply can’t get your points across due to the aforementioned difficulties with explaining oneself, then you need to look for another doctor – one that will put you at ease and allow you to explain yourself.

      You deserve to get help. A compassionate doctor will listen to you and try to help you as best they are able. The world (particularly the workplace) doesn’t care about your condition. The world only cares about results – and if you can’t remember instructions, direction, make succinct decisions required of you, then the world will push you aside. That is the harsh reality of this condition and not seeking help. Believe me, I’ve been there, and at the age of 50 having recently been diagnosed, can tell you that the world didn’t wait for me – didn’t care about my shortcomings and simply moved on and pushed me aside in a number of situations. Its hard enough competing in this world with even-footing, don’t hamstring yourself by not trying to improve your situation by seeking help.

    • #112921

      Hi there! Don’t hesitate to tell the doctor the whole story. Anyway, they’re really designed to be so much patient and to be so much understanding towards they’re patients even if you’re planning to tell him your whole story that will start from childhood. 😉

      My husband had that kind of feeling also when I first told him that he should consider having himself checked. We’re already married when he was diagnosed with ADHD. And yes, I was part of the process of him telling the whole story to his doctor.
      I don’t know if I’m allowed to give his personal info but here’s their website ADHDcentre
      they’ve got a contact number there.

      Little courage my dear, I know you can make it. 🙂

      • #113288

        Thank you so much for replying.
        I had an appointment today but sadly I am ready for facing this. I wish it was easy for me but it is not. I will try to find another solution until I have the courage to talk with a doctor about it.

    • #113345


      A neuropsychological test is nothing too scary. You’ll meet with a psychologist who is also familiar with neurology. Most of the “testing” is filling out questionnaires and talking about things with the psychologist. If you’ve ever met with a therapist, it’s kinda similar except she isn’t discussing them with you to help you overcome them, she’s discussing them with you to better understand what’s creating your struggle and how to best treat it. A neuropsychological is almost the same thing as a psychological assessment–it’s just the information they can tell you is more indepth. Nothing too scary, most of what you’ll be doing is just discussing your experience with the doctor. She’s just more highly trained at being able to understand what you are telling her and how it’s impacting you as well as how it needs to be treated.

      I hope that’s helpful!

      Life Hacks for ADHD women

Viewing 4 reply threads

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.