Adults tackling having their first child

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    • #187531
      talex6895
      Participant

      Hi,

      I am a 25yr old with adhd, growing up I never wanted kids, the reason being is that from the age of 13-19 I was made to watch my niece and nephew pretty much from the day they were born. I even went as far as to tell my parents and family that I would never have kids. (Boy did I eat those words but I found a girl who is amazing.) My parents who were born in the 50’s in Puerto Rico, as well as being in poeverty. Now as an adult I can say that I came to the full realization that my father has adhd which was never treated. To say the least they tried to raise me right but they never got it..Always coddling me and not allowing me to grow as much as I needed too. but then again I didn’t know there was more to adhd then just the have trouble on focusing on topics that didn’t interest you etc. Growing up I was told I was going to become my father, and I could have if my girlfriend and I hadn’t went through a lot in the past couple of months….we found out she was pregnant in July, that’s also around the same time i started a second job while working full time, so I’m working 7days a week. it started going down hill.
      I began lashing out and acting like my father, when confronted with that reality I doubled down and stuck to my guns…. this drove her away and then I began acting irrationally and initially I only thought it was the fact above and a few other things. But then while speaking with my baby mother I now know I have a problem with regulating my emotions, overthinking, and self doubt I made a breakthrough today…. I felt relieved the moment I said that I was terrified of becoming a father because of what I said along with the unknown
      Is this common?

    • #187551
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      So many people are gripped with fear with impending parenthood. It’s how you respond to that fear that counts.

      It sounds like you are probably struggling with some rejections sensitive dysphoria too. Emotions and ADHD are no joke.

      New Insights Into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

      Why We Feel So Much — and Ways to Overcome It

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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