January 6, 2019 at 4:25 pm #106242lisaJonssonParticipant
A few month ago I was diagnosed with ADHD and now I am trying out the right medication so I will hopefully get rid of the inner restlessness that mostly have affected my ability to work. My hyper energetic personalty I dont want to change.
But after getting my ADHD diagnos I have also been reflecting over the past relationships that I been in and also the lack of good stable relationships with a partner. They have never lasted that long. Even though I have liked them very much and I would say that I am fairly good expressing my feeling for them, it has always ended when I feel not seen enough and also criticized. I have expressed this for them and after a while the guy respond like “sorry, this is me. I dont think I have enough for you. I cant give you what you want. I will just disappoint you constantly, and that is bad for both of us”.
You maybe shouldnt care about your ex boyfriends opinions. But since I have seen a pattern and the way I have acted in my past relationships I can maybe get use of that. Now that Im in relationshop that suffer from similar pattern and with a guy I see my future with. We love each other and I so very badly would like to get it to work.
Maybe I express something that it is hard for myself to understand. I have very often felt strong inner restlessness and therefore doing alot of stuff constantly. Having 1000 friends and alway on the go. That lifestyle have worked well for me. But that lifestyle was challenged when I met my lovely boyfriend Alex. In the beginning it was okej since we have intensive first month. But then when we got a more calm relationship and started watching tv series, I realize I faced a big challenge. When you sit there in the tv-sofa and watch a nice tv-serie with boyfriend but your mind is coming up with 1000 other things to do you start to wonder if you really want to see that tv-serie?! And If you really want to spend the evening inside and very relaxing?! “He was so fun the first months and now he isnt that fun?!” ”Is this the life that I possible will live with him?” ”But wait we were out yesterday, and going on a party on Saturday, so maybe we do not live that boring life”. Now, over 30 I have come to realize that partly this is due to my ADHD.
I and Alex have now been together for soon 1 and a half year and now he sometimes say that he feels a pressure from me that he cant live up to. That I sometimes so hyper that I stresses him when he feels he cant be as excited as I am. Or when I am down and he have to be gentle since he dont want to hurt me. And that creates a distance between us. It makes it so difficult when he cant speak freely and open and he watch every world he says. Because I always interpretes them in a negative way. I can see that a bit. My logic part of my brain, feel he want to be with me but the thoughts in my
I so much want to be with him and I think he have exactly what I need. I have previously though that I might not have found the right guy. That was probably absolutely right. But this time it is Alex I want and still the pattern occur again. Thay I need so very much attention and also that I often interpret small commend from him as negative.
Would love to hear your thought and maybe advices on how to act in a relationship when I struggles with these issues.
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