ADHD bf broke up with me

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    • #123907
      anonymous13
      Participant

      Me and my ex were together for about 18 months and at least on my end we were blissfully happy.

      There were a few little problems that occurred for example he could never express his emotions properly and would always run away at the first sign of conflict.

      One day we had a little arguement where I felt that I wasn’t a priority or that he cared about me. We didn’t speak for a few days and he then broke up with me and said he couldn’t deal with the responsibility of having a girlfriend and that he needed to be single. He said he thinks he will always love and miss me but that he just can’t deal with a relationship right now.

      I’m wondering if this was anything to do with his ADHD and making an impulsive decision?

      He broke up with me 2 months ago and I’m devastated. I’d love for us to get back together as we had such a great connection.

      Thoughts would be much appreciated.

    • #123966
      Dizzy
      Participant

      Anony..relationships can certainly be difficult, ADHD or not.

      You mention that you were concerned about not being a priority in his life,
      and then you two didn’t speak for a few days. Could be during that time
      he was thinking that you were correct, and rather than you having to deal
      with it all, he decided to end the relationship.

      No one knows what will come in the future, but considering that was two
      months ago, my suggestion would be to go ahead and move on with your life.

      Now, that’s just my opinion, but if you were asking me for advice, that’s
      what I would tell you.

    • #124405
      unverified
      Participant

      Yes, but you can’t change him. He’s pulling away out of anxiety and embarrassment, he doesn’t like putting you through his ADHD episodes, and he’s also worried you’re going to leave him…so he leaves first.

      When he goes through those episodes, his entire thought process and decision making is altered. Which is he went from happy to running away.

      • #124426
        anonymous13
        Participant

        Thanks for your response and input. It’s so tough working out if he’s just not that into me or if it has anything to do with his ADHD.

        I don’t know too much about ADHD but from what I’ve read it seems as though maybe he gets more overwhelmed than a non ADHD person with feelings and decides to run away instead of deal with things? It also seems like the decision was very impulsive which again I’ve read has something to do with ADHD.

        I wouldn’t want to change him I just wish I’d have understood more at the time and I probably wouldn’t have pushed him so far with things. I thought that he’d try and fix things instead of running away.

        What would your advice be going forward? I really want us back together but he’s completely shut me out and ignores my texts. I do see him at work though but I’m trying to give him his space.

        I feel like I’ve put myself out there so much to try and fix things without any success but if it is anything to do with his ADHD I’d love to help him and try and fix things going forward. I wish he’d have communicated with me about any anxiety he had instead of just running away and never looking back.

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