ADHD + ASD marriage
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I am a 54 year old woman diagnosed 2 years ago with ADHD. I also have 2 kids with ADHD (10 and 12yrs). I am fairly certain that my spouse is ASD. It came to my realization during a family session with a pschologist that my son (12yrs) sees. The psychologist suggested that my son may have ASD (formerly known as highly functioning Aspbergers). It was an epiphany for me! I have always felt that my husband was “different” – he never gives compliments, has a hard time initiating conversation, is obsessed with the kitchen being perfect and organized – as well as other things! – and is an emotional vacuum. One could easily see why an ADHD person could be devastated by someone who never validates or empathizes. Has anyone else out there had this kind of situation? I am at the end of my rope. My relationship is beyond dysfunctional and it is obviously trickling down to our family…. I’m worried!!!
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Have you talked to your husband about how you feel when you don’t receive any empathy or validation? ASD doesn’t make an individual unable to have empathy. My son has ADHD and ASD, and he is super empathetic. When someone cares about you, and they know that some of their behavior is hurting you (or lack of attention), they will try to change that.
Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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