ADHD and my part in it as a grandparent

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    • #58386
      gillsains16
      Participant

      My son (aged 37) was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago and has made tremendous progress through meds and counselling. His two sons now have diagnosis 12 year old with ADHD and 10 year old with Tourrettes, OCD and possible ADHD. I do not live in the same country as my son and his family (they live in Norway and I am a UK expat in Spain). I am confused and feel somehow responsible, I certainly have siblings that could definitely have their anger management issues linked to ADHD. I want to know if I am ADHD and also to understand as much as I can about what is being passed through the generations of my family.

      Just looking for advice help or a pointer as to where to start! Could I ask to see my sons counsellor in Norway? Or should I?

      Confused and frustrated!!

    • #58401
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      ADHD can be genetic, so it’s possible you have it too.

      Is ADHD Hereditary? Yes and No

      [Self-Test] Could You Have Adult ADHD?

      The great news is that your son accepts his ADHD and is getting treatment, for himself and his kids.

      The best thing you can do to support your family is learn all you can about ADHD so you understand them. And, of course, be there for whatever they need in the way of support.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

      • #58589
        gillsains16
        Participant

        Thanks for the response and the links following up now!!!

    • #58551
      liamsmat
      Participant

      Good afternoon! I am a mother of three amazing children all of whom have varying degrees of Tourette’s Syndrome, which occurs comorbidly with ADD, OCD, Anxiety, and a few other things. All three of our children inherited this from me. I knew I had ADD, OCD, and anxiety, but my childhood was somewhat complicated so the doctors assumed I had acquired my issues. I wasn’t diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome until after my children were. Their neurologist recognized it in me.
      I felt terribly guilty at first. Then I realized that these issues have given my children a very unique perspective. They are incredibly empathetic and are known for reaching out to kids who are being bullied or struggling in some other way. They are also very creative and free thinking! Our youngest son also has mild Asperger’s which makes him intellectually gifted but socially awkward. However, this has pushed other children to work to understand him a little bit better and he has worked to understand them. Because of these issues so many children have learned about communicating with people who think differently than they do. Every few years it seems one or two of our children needs a break from school and I homeschool them for a year. I LOVE this time with them because I was a teacher before our kids were born and my kids have forced me to get really creative with my lessons in order to reach them. Consequently, my tutoring business has wound up becoming very in-demand because I can reach kids that other people can’t seem to.
      I guess what I’m saying is this; when it comes to the things that make us different there is no blame or fault to be had. Every beautiful, wonderful, amazing thing that makes your grandchildren who they are is worth having even if it sometimes makes life a little more complicated. Their uniqueness sets them up to make a difference in the world and that is a very good thing!

      • #58588
        gillsains16
        Participant

        Thanks for the response and the links following up now!!!

      • #58590
        gillsains16
        Participant

        Hello liamsmat and thank you so much for sharing with me, it is a great help and source of comfort. You sound lime an amazing family and as Penny said above I am very lucky that both my son and his wife are handling the diagnosis and treatment plans for the kids well and doing their utmost to adapt to life with each of the boys issues and also my sons own situation.

        I will follow up on the books and am so happy to have some recommended reading!!!

        Wishing your and your family the very best and a big hug from a grateful granny xxx

    • #58552
      liamsmat
      Participant

      Oh, sorry! I forgot to mention a wonderful resource! There’s a book called Kids in the Syndrome Mix which excels at briefly explaining several common syndromes. Another book specifically for Tourette Syndrome is called Don’t Think About Monkeys. It’s a strange title, but an outstanding book! Good luck to all of you!

    • #58558
      gentlygenli
      Participant

      Not your circus, not your monkeys.

      Unless your son and the children’s mother aren’t able to parent, your responsibilities begin and end with being a sympathetic ear. Contacting the children’s therapist would be inappropriate

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