A Positive…

This topic contains 11 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  MrNeutron 2 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #70125

    PocoPer
    Participant

    I know we all have challenges on some level when it comes to our children with ADHD, but I was thinking about something yesterday and wanted to share. My son is very impulsive. If he has a thought, it comes out. While I recognize the challenge in that and the fact that his father and I will need to help him learn social cues, there’s also something freeing about it.

    The fact that he will just tells us what he’s thinking and how he sees it is very powerful.

    I just wanted to share. Sometimes I get so stuck in the mud worrying about everything we have to help him with and helping him how to be his best self, that I forget to see the positives/silver lining.

  • #70189

    Penny Williams
    Keymaster

    That’s a great observation. It is so important to see the positives as parents of kids with ADHD. In fact, it’s crucial to focus on the positive more than weaknesses.

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #70451

    acorn2003
    Participant

    Hi, our nine year old son is the same, he blurts out every thought in his head, inappropriate or not. It’s compounded by his high functioning ASD. It has caused some very awkward situations. But we have found a wonderful app called Everyday Speech which teaches children about social skills by modelling the behavior. There are many wonderful videos, including one called “Think It, Don’t Say It!” which teaches children and young people about self regulation when it comes to expressing thoughts. We all have nutty ideas from time to time. Imagine if we were to all blurt out all of the crazy thoughts that crossed our minds. We would all get arrested. But it is important to teach children about appropriate expressions. For example, if I sense that our son is about to ask us one of those inappropriate questions or express and inappropriate thought, I say “Wait… before you say what you were going to say, is it going to hurt someone’s feelings or make somebody feel uncomfortable?” We have established that comments about other peoples bodies or body parts are off limits. As each inappropriate comment comes up with your son, you can create categories (use a visual if you have to) and make examples for topics that are off limits. Good luck! It takes a while but we have had much success with the “Think It, Don’t Say It” mantra! And do check out the Everyday Speech App!

  • #70458

    bills12
    Participant

    My son will routinely blurt out whatever pops into his head. Yes, many times inappropriate – but oftentimes, funny as heck!

    He’s said so many off-the-wall things that we have a list we keep: Jaredisms. Every now and then we go over the list and get a good laugh. He’s 14 now and its actually quite long.
    Here’s one he told his mother: “I gotta tell you mom – getting stung by a wasp isn’t as much fun as you’d think.”
    And this one: “Dying is pretty fun.” (he and his sister were dying Easter eggs at the time)

    • #70460

      PocoPer
      Participant

      What a great idea to keep a list! How funny and cute. It’s helpful to hear others stories about their positives too, will help me to open my eyes. 🙂

  • #70613

    kearnsj00
    Participant

    I like the positive spin on the impulsivity. I think children with adhd get way more negative messages at school than they do positive reinforcement. Sometimes we have to put ourselves in their shoes the best we can. Imagine living with a brain that makes peoppe constantly frustrated with you, sending you messages that the way you are and the way you do things is wrong all the time. Thats hard. I agree positive reinforcement as much as possible even for the smallest things works much more than punishment

  • #70863

    ken_whitten2002
    Participant

    I think impulsive turns into decisive as an adult if you can slow the brain down for about 2 seconds before talking. Doing it without dampening his spirit and he sounds amazing.

  • #70886

    caringmom
    Participant

    just want to share this …when my son was 4 and half year he was diagnosed with adhd and was extremely unmanagable,now he is 6 and he is fairly managable ,is better in academics n socially as of today.Though traits of adhd are still there but with medicines he is okay.So when i was thinking everything will be better after puberty…I went through some posts quoting that their children around 16-18-20 are idle ,not ready to go to college or doing any work etc.I am totally confused and it really affects my positivity towards my sons future.As I was thinking with growing age he will be independant and will do something worth while.
    Any ADHD parents whose children are in late twenties or early thirties can please share the experience??

    • #70911

      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      Individuals with ADHD are as much as 20-30% behind their peers in development. Since we don’t finish developing until the early to mid twenties, those with ADHD are maturing at an older age. It’s not that they won’t ever be independent or won’t ever be able to further their education or have a career, it just may take longer to get there.

      Grow Up Already! Why It Takes So Long to Mature

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #70887

    acorn2003
    Participant

    My son is only 9, but my nephew and niece both have ADHD. One is 18 and she has only recently been diagnosed. But ever since she got a proper diagnosis and started to take medication she has turned into an A+ student and is attending University, and doing extremely well. She did take a year off after high school, but once she figured out why she had been having difficulty over the years and got treatment, she is thriving. My nephew is 27 now and he was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, they said he would never make it through the school system, but with family support, positivity, and everybody believing in him, I am proud to say that he graduated with honours and is an extremely well adjusted and happy young man. My husband who is 52 was diagnosed with ADHD in the 1970’s and although he had difficulty as a child with self-regulation and some difficulties in his teens, so did many of his peers who did not have this diagnosis. I am happy to say that my husband is a very successful businessman with a lot of energy and drive, which has contributed to his success. Just keep supporting your son and everything will be fine. Stay positive!

  • #71310

    caringmom
    Participant

    Thank you ACORN2003 and Penny for the information you shared.

  • #71444

    MrNeutron
    Participant

    I think that ADHD kids have a great potential for comedy, and I know there are comedians out there who have ADHD.
    Has anyone experimented with Mad Libs for their child?

    Just one example:
    http://www.glowwordbooks.com/blog/category/kids-online-mad-libs/

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