9 year old daughter having trouble with friends.

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    • #48861
      tarheelbluegirl
      Participant

      Hello, my daughter is 9 years old and was diagnosed with ADHD this school year. Hyperactivity and impulsiveness is a huge obstacle for her. She has an extremely hard time making and keeping friends. She has a couple of friends in our neighborhood but often comes in from outside saying that they don’t want to be friends anymore. Hey mouth gets her into trouble a lot by saying things that she does not mean. Sometimes extremely hurtful things. That is where her impulsiveness comes into play. I try to explain to her why being a bully is not a good thing and to try to get along with her friends. She will be doing well for a bit then all of a sudden the wheels fall off. It is hard to change her mood once she starts acting this way. I try all I can to keep the peace but it is very hard. She is currently taking 10mg of Adderall and 20 mg of Prozac once a day. Any advice?

    • #48884
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      Friendship struggles are definitely common in kids with ADHD. My son looks like he’s being bossy and controlling with friends, but I learned that wasn’t his intention, that black-and-white thinking was causing him to see only one way.

      Since he struggled to put himself in someone else’s shoes, we worked really hard at it. Before a friend was coming over, I’d talk with him about “rules” of good friendship. I’d tell him you should always let your guest pick the first activity, starting out without seeming bossy. We would talk about give-and-take and how everyone should have the opportunity to do what they would like to, also. Giving if-then social rules can really help.

      Here’s more on social skills help for kids with ADHD:

      The Playdate Protocol: Rules of Engagement, Sharing, and Taking Turns

      Help for Socially Immature Kids

      Coaching Kids Toward Lasting Friendships

      You also mentioned that she’s taking Adderall and Prozac. There’s a little known interaction between amphetamines and Prozac/Paxil.
      READ: http://www.corepsych.com/2012/09/adhd-insights-prozac-paxil-ampehtamines/

      You might want to talk to her doctor about this and try a different SSRI or a different stimulant.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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