December 12, 2018 at 9:12 pm #105388
Keep in mind, the situation I’m describing below only happens at school and daycare. At home she acts nothing like this. She’s loving, helpful, and the very best child I could possibly ask for.
We started having problems with Madison in July. It started out as a couple of phone calls from daycare while she was on summer break just saying they were having a very difficult time getting her to listen. This quickly started to escalate. More phone calls, both myself and her dad having to switch off leaving work to go get her.
– she wasn’t listening to anything
– She was trashing the daycare room
– Climbing on furniture, and sometimes throwing it
– flipping tables, and tossing chairs at the windows
– Hitting other children and staff
– She ran out of the daycare multiple times and staff had to chase her
The visits to the doctor then started. She was given bloodwork, tested for PANDAS, and seen a psychologist. They diagnosed her with ADHD, and she was put on medication.
She was almost dismissed from her daycare, but school started, and she wasn’t there all day. A little in the mornings, and at the end of the day until myself or her dad picks her up.
Things with daycare started to get calmer. The phone calls didn’t happen as much. That’s when the calls from the school started.
– she runs out of the classroom without permission
– She hits/kicks teachers and students
– She takes things that aren’t hers, and breaks them
– She yells. A lot. (Recently turned into cursing)
– She seems very angry and violent at times.
We talk to her on a daily basis about what is going on, and what causes her to feel like this. She doesn’t know. Her head hurts. She was confused.
She’s had things taken away, she’s been “grounded”. Aside from making her feel like a prisoner in her own home, I’ve tried everything. Nothing works.
After over a dozen Dr visits, and medication adjustments, nothing seems to be helping. And they can’t tell me what’s wrong with my child. Today was pretty much my breaking point. She has now been suspended from school for the next 2 days for hitting her teacher.
December 13, 2018 at 3:40 am #105390
Hello, I hear how frustrated you sound and how much you want to help her. Do you know if they tested her for ODD- oppositional defiant disorder. You might consider looking it up online and typing in symptoms to see if you feel it is how your daughter acts.,
Do the doctors feel this could be a side effect of the medication?
I am new to this as well so it’s merely a suggestion.. I hope you find the answers you need., I know I want to help my child. Your a good mom hang in there.
December 14, 2018 at 9:36 am #105456
Hello! My son in 10 with ADHD and has always been very, very hyperactive. He was diagnosed at 6 and started medication at the beginning of kindergarten. We have been exactyly where your daughter is now. What we learned through trial and error with my son is that his hyperactivity and lack of impulse control is worse when in an exciting or stimulating environment, like school or sports. Also, he has alot of difficulty with side effects from medication. We have been on and off of most of the medications available. His side effects have ranged from increased hyperness, emotional liability/ crying, becoming very easily frustrated, bad dreams, and/or tics. Awesome right? So, it could be that she is sensitive to the medication or this is not the right medication for her. Our experience has been to start with a low dose, very low. I would only increase his dosing by half or what the doctor recommended and give it a few days before going up again. Sometimes it was immediate before he started with side effects. Sometimes it would be between the 1 – 2 week mark. For us, the transdermal delivery has been best for him. He uses the Daytrana patch with no hyperactivity, no emotional side effects, no bad dreams. For us this has been a life saver. It delivers the medication evenly throughout the weartime and gradually wears off. He has sensitive skin but tolerates the patch well. It is always red when removing the patch but the redness is gone by the next day. You rotate location of where you place it. We know several other kids who have successfully used the patch for years. I would suggest you give it a try. My next word of advise is to try to establish a good relationship with her teachers. Open communication about medication changes, side effects, etc. is the best approach. I have found that most of my son’s teachers have been shockingly uneducated about ADHD and medications despite the fact that there are always a couple of children in every class with ADHD. Hang in there. They DO mature slowly but surely. Every year gets a little bit easier. I hope my experiences are helpful to you in some way. 🙂
December 17, 2018 at 8:54 am #105550
Ask the school to do a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) to draft a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) right away (request in writing, keep pestering until it’s scheduled). Your child should not be punished at school for behavior related to a disability.
Traditional parenting, what I call “crime and punishment,” doesn’t work for kids with ADHD. Punishments don’t work because they’re not addressing the real problem, what is CAUSING the behavior. There are many, many possibilities… sensory overload, poor frustration tolerance, poor emotional regulation, time blindness, etc. The FBA is facilitated by a behavior specialist and considers are possible reasons for each behavior, then identifies strategies to reduce the behavior based on the potential causes.
Ross Greene says behavior is just a symptom, the fever, and we can’t make it better without treating the cause. His approach WORKS. I highly recommend reading his books, “The Explosive Child” or “Raising Human Beings.”
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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