5 years old daughter has attention deficit problem

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  ADHDmomma 5 months ago.

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  • #61890

    Ammar06
    Participant

    Hi,my DD hasn’t learn to write yet so not progressing in school. We got her admitted in a preschool where she spent 1.5 years and then Teacher asked us to take her to some pure montessori school system as she couldn’t keep a pace with other kids and couldn’t learn to write so its better to take her to activity based learning. Then we got her admitted in a pure montessori school but here teacher also complains about my DD doesn’t follow the instructions so teacher is struggling to make her write.. Writing is a big issue here in Pakistan as kids are suppose to go to Grade 1 by the age of 6 and are expected to learn writing by that age…
    My daughter was born with brachail plexus which affected her right hand so she has weak right hand muscles but now she does everything with left hand so we believe hand weakness should not be problem… she is attending physical therapies since she was 8 months old..

    We are in a Fix.. whether to take her to Remedial teacher only for a while and no school for some time? But how can we address her attention deficit problem? Her milestones are delayed…

    • This topic was modified 5 months ago by  Ammar06.
    • This topic was modified 5 months ago by  Ammar06.
  • #61898

    ADHDmomma
    Keymaster

    ADHD is a developmental disorder, so many skills and milestones will be delayed. The school is essentially asking a 2-3 year old (in many ways) to learn to write and to excel at it. That’s not a realistic expectation.

    In addition, writing is a common added problem for individuals with ADHD. Sometimes, it’s just more difficult, and sometimes it’s a learning disability known as dysgraphia.

    Why Writing Is So Painful for Kids with ADHD

    [Screener] Dysgraphia in Children

    I don’t know anything about accommodations for students with disabilities in Pakistan. I’d like to think that’s available to students like your daughter, but I don’t have that information. Do try to work with the school to get your daughter extra help if possible.

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #62096

    Ammar06
    Participant

    Thanks for your reply. We are working simultaneously on her speech, motor skills, physical therapy as well as occupational therapy. But her attitude is very non-conforming and we can’t make her do what we want.. it always require an incentive such as ice cream to do the job but that too is dangerous being so sweet and sugar stuff.. Even then when it comes to writing, she just doesn’t seem interested at all…. To make her follow our commands, is almost close to impossible… at times she seems not listening and at times she clearly refuses to do so.. Like recently we took her to a school for an admission test and she refused to follow any command making them concluding.. she is a hyper child”.. We are in a FIX what to do for her.. how to control her tantrums and how to make her follow our commands.. In current school which is a montessori, we feel her teacher has sort of abandoned her, she has asked to pick her up an hour early than other students… when we go to pick her up,all students come to us saying “she is hitting us”and her teacher shows no intent to stop other students complaining to us ,, i know i am writing too much and mostly haphazard but that’s how our thinking patterns have become these days with multitude of thoughts and resolve to none! We are thinking of remover her from school for a while say 3-4 moths, deploy her in a therapy centre and concentrate on her behavior modification, writing skills, remedial help to prepare her for school. As she is 5 now, all schools will be taking a test for admission to nursery though her age pertains to KG..But we know she can’t go into KG with here current state…

    • #62115

      ADHDmomma
      Keymaster

      You said something really important here: “to make her follow our commands.” That’s authoritarian parenting approach doesn’t work with kids with ADHD. Instead, Ross Greene’s collaborative problem solving approach is much more effective. Here’s a webinar replay with Greene:

      Free Webinar Replay: ODD and ADHD: Strategies for Parenting Defiant Children

      And his website, http://livesinthebalance.org offers lots of free materials as well.

      As well, you cannot change behavior unless you know the reason behind it and you address that reason. WHY does she avoid writing? Is it because she has a learning disability in that area? Is it because it feels like a big and overwhelming task? Is it because she cannot harness the focus it requires?

      Here’s what I did with my son when he was hitting classmates, and it completely stopped the hitting:

      “How I Helped My Son Stop Hitting Classmates”

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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