37 and just diagnosed.

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    • #104376
      itsanadhdthing
      Participant

      Hi all.

      As the title says, I’m 37 years old and I am a week into my diagnosis. I am inattentive adhd. Do you say you ARE adhd, or you HAVE adhd? I’m still working on that one.

      I’m here because I need some kind of community. I am engaged to be married in March, but this week has me wondering if that’s a good idea. I have received 0 emotional support from my partner. The day I got my diagnosis I was told, “Nothing’s changed. Half the world has adhd.” -I should have known then.

      Later that day I was trying to describe how I was feeling (because honestly I was all over the emotional spectrum). I got out the words , “I think about how my life could have been different.” And he heard: “I hate my life with you.”

      So a big fight followed and I still wasn’t heard. I wasn’t able to voice what I was really going through. I wasn’t able to express that this was something that would absolutely change me. I didn’t want to have a pity party, but I wanted someone to explore and research with me.

      Since then I’ve tried to talk about it and it’s either brushed off or another fight happens.

      Has anyone else experienced this with a loved one? Did you work through it? I’m afraid my diagnosis might be the end of my relationship.

    • #104419
      mooley
      Participant

      Perhaps your partner is ADHD too? Oh Yeh

    • #104434
      strwbry
      Participant

      Before you marry, it might be smart to do a little counseling together. Finding out you have ADHD is a bit world changing, and it might be a bit confusing for your partner as well. He may be scared about what your diagnosis means (change is usually scary) and not understand it. It may be better to try to work things out before the wedding. Trying to work things out afterward could be more difficult.

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