23 y/o g/son with ADHD, LD,

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    • #128594
      JohnH
      Participant

      My dear grandson graduated high school ( I think my pushing that he receive a regular diploma may have backfired ). He struggled so hard. Jr. and Sr. yrs. were spent in self-contained classrooms with very few students. I don’t for one second have hard feelings towards any teachers. I truly believe they did their best. John is intelligent in some ways such as working crosswords, find a word, etc. He enjoys reading, but takes prodding. Where do we go from here ? For example, if he was able to get a job bagging groceries, he would not think to check for traffic while pushing out cart for customer. The only things that interest him are video games, and wrestling. He is a very loving young man, but loses his temper as most of us. He goes to see a Psychiatrist for his med, sees a therapist once a month, and goes to group therapy (of which he is sometimes the only one there). He receives these services at the county mental health clinic. I don’t see much change, but he LOVES group when others attend. I don’t know how to help him get job training, as when asked there is not one thing he can name that he is interested in doing. His gdad, and myself are in our 70’s, and want to help all we can, while we can. I have spoken to so many people, without getting firm information. We live in a suburb of Atlanta, and I know there has to be something that would benefit him. Sorry this is so long, but I spend so much time worrying about this precious young man and what the future holds for him. Thank you so much for listening, Sharon

    • #128697
      fedup
      Participant

      Hi there,
      I am in the same position with my almost 19 yo son. I have prayed, trained and trained my son. Even how to look at all the groceries first as a whole and THEN make decisions on how to bag them, etc. Nothing sticks! He just starts throwing them in the bag willy nilly again the next time.

      I have had Josh volunteering at church the last 2 years and at the Petco dog adoption program on sat and Sundays, to introduce him to the work environment. Maybe it has worked some. He was able to go to a pumpkin patch to inquire about a job, {with tons of coaching and role playing]. He was so anxious he forgot about 50% of what we role-played and could only remember about %50 of what they said. Sometimes I feel so panicked for him.

      I try to stay VERY patient with lots of praise and all, and then feel so guilty when I can’t take the craziness anymore and lock myself in my room so I don’t yell at him or show my utter frustration. I cry normally at least once a day, to get some relief.

      My only other thoughts have been to guide him into his own small business that he can contro.. We’ve talked about dog care/sitting,[ there are apps that can be used like “Rover”, grooming, or a mobile hotdog stand or something where he can get down all aspects of the job and only that. Where the requirements stay the same and he doesn’t have to “think on his feet”

      Josh is the same, very loving, thoughtful.

      Why do you think pushing your gson to graduate may have backfired?

      Blessings,

    • #128711
      JohnH
      Participant

      Thank you so much for your reply. It is such a relief to communicate with someone that can understand my grandson’s challenges. I had not thought about the Petco adoption program. He does love our dogs, and cries when one of our pets gets old and passes. He and I have had so many discussions about something he is interested in doing. He dealt with so much bullying in high school, that I don’t know that further schooling is an option (unless it was online). The reason I feel I may have made a mistake in almost insisting he receive a regular diploma, is that I think it gives counselors, community based workers, etc. the opinion that he is capable or more than he actually is. Sometimes when his therapist is making suggestions on things John should try I almost have asked her if we are speaking about the same young man. I have had numerous discussions with him trying to find something he would be interested in trying-with no luck. His father who lives about 30 min. from us works on movie sets (as Georgia has become a major state for movie making), but I don’t believe they have an apprentice program, and I know this job involves power tools, et. I would like to give you my email address (if that is alright) and ask that if you come up with ANY suggestions that you would feel free to contact me. again, thank you for your reply. Sharon

    • #128712
      JohnH
      Participant

      Did my complete post not print out ?

    • #128714
      JohnH
      Participant

      I will try to reply once again. The reason I sometimes regret pushing that my grandson get a regular diploma is that I think some of the therapists, counselors, community based support people, etc expect more from him than he is capable of doing right now. He has LD, ADHD, math disorder, hydrocephalus, chromosomal abnormality. He was in a self-contained classroom his Jr. and Sr. yrs. When they gave the tests that indicate what profession a student might be good at, they came back with airline pilot. Just goes to show how inaccurate some tests can be. John has never learned to ride a bicycle, and certainly is unable to drive, but I know there has to be something that is enjoys doing. He loves my 3 y/o great grandson very much, and will sit down and play with him. I would like to give you my email if that would be ok, and would appreciate it if you have ANY suggestions. Thank you so much, Sharon

    • #128733
      JohnH
      Participant

      I am going to try this again. The reason I sometimes regret pressing the school to give my grandson a regular diploma is that I sometimes think his therapist, psychiatrist, and others that work with him may expect too much due to his diploma. He spent his last 2 yrs. of high school in self contained classes with very few students. I do like your idea about Petco, as John does love animals. I would like to give you my email address so when you have suggestions (I do like the ones you mentioned) you would share them with me. I will wait to see if you give the okay before sending it. Hope the rest of your weekend goes well. Sharon

    • #128735
      JohnH
      Participant

      continued from 9/21/at 9:06pm expect more from him than he is capable of doing, because he has a regular diploma. I would like to give you my email address (if that is ok with you) in hopes that you will let me know when you have other suggestions. I do like the ones you wrote the other night. Thank you, Sharon

    • #128738
      fedup
      Participant

      Hi Sharon,
      Do you use facebook?
      I could send you my email through the facebook messenger site.
      I would love to correspond with you.

      I’m in Southern California by the way.
      Land of the crazies!

    • #128742
      JohnH
      Participant

      Thank you!! I will have to get one of my family members help me (or maybe John can help me). I will ask and try my best to respond. I do not know what is wrong, that only one line of my paragraph is being sent. I am almost 70, and do good to send a text. Ha, ha. Have a nice weekend.

    • #128778
      fedup
      Participant

      Hi Sharon,
      I’m getting your posts just fine.
      Facebook is easy to set up.
      Once your on. Look me up and send me a message “in messenger” it is private. We can exchange emails through there.
      My name is Heather Trout. I have The American flag in my profile picture space, so you can Identify me better.
      Talk to you then.
      I sure appreciate your heart for your Grandson.
      🙂⚘

    • #128925
      JohnH
      Participant

      Heather, John was cat fished awhile back. He would not believe this gorgeous girl who contacted him was not madly in love with him. He got so angry at me, and others in the family that tried to explain the concept to him and how it worked. Finally, after his therapist explained that she had been cat fished did he accept what had happened. To show him how it works I made up a fake Facebook, with a beautiful girls picture that was in an ad, and posted a sweet message. Well, to be honest I had my daughter to do it because I don’t have a clue how cat fishing works. That is why the name you will find me under is Marie Davis. I was able to remove the larger picture , but don’t know how to remove the name. So, if you see the small pix of a beautiful, young girl-it is not me. Ha, ha. If you can see the pix on that site you will see John taking a pix of himself. Have a great day in beautiful So. Cali. Sharon

    • #129076
      JohnH
      Participant

      Good Morning,
      I followed your instructions about sending msg. on Facebook. I sent it a few days ago. Did you receive it? Hope so. Sharon

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