23 y/o g/son unable to call about job due to anxiety

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    • #132938
      JohnH
      Participant

      My g/s sees a psychologist, psychiatrist,& community based manager. She talked to John about the things to do in order to try to get an interview for job such as stocker, or bagger at local grocery store. I talked with him about writing notes, as if he is writing script for movie (example). He has ADHD, LD, math disorder, hydrocephalus, and anxiety. He takes Ritalin 20mg three times a day (maximum amount). He is unable to call about job availability, and I am unsure what to do to help him. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Sharon

    • #132943
      quietlylost
      Participant

      I think it’d be important to try to figure out why he’s unable to call. It’s usually not just an ADHD inattention / motivation thing. There are often other reasons at play including fear of rejection, fear of responsibility, social anxiety, phone avoidance, etc. Once those issues are identified and addressed, the other work that you all are doing to help sequence things and support him will be heard.

      Trying to get a job at any age is hard, but it’s important to understand what makes it so hard for him right now.

    • #133163
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      Some people do better in person, because they can see and read body language and such. Ask him if he’d feel better inquiring in person. As the previous commenter said, it’s important to ask him what he feels is keeping him from inquiring about job openings, and then work from there. Does the community based manager he works with understand ADHD? If not, it might be really beneficial to find someone that helps with employment for folks with disabilities.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #133244
      adhdadult401
      Participant

      Adhd drugs add to anxiety. Sometimes less is more I perform best with less. I have adhd and anxiety. I’m not a fan of anxiety drugs. My suggestion is less Ritalin should def help.

    • #134959
      Amy G
      Participant

      I know this is heartbreaking, but you really can help your gs. (He’s lucky to have you!)

      My son has similar challenges, and we are just starting work services for him – on top of his meds, therapy, etc.- with DVR. Work services are largely free government services for people with disabilities – career counseling, job training, paid internships/jobs with 1:1 workplace support for job skills and mental health during training/transition, and many other related diagnostic and therapeutic services designed to get and keep a job.

      Don’t let the government service part scare you off. It’s been amazing for us so far (at least here in King County, WA outside Seattle), and as you’re discovering the options are few.

      Like your gs, my son’s anxiety is too debilitating. I’m not sure whether the core challenge is the calls or the anticipation of what follows – interview, interaction at work, fear of not understanding of failing at work. Of failing at life.

      It’s probably all of above. He’s needed special supports to make it in school, so need for work support shouldn’t be surprising. (Though of course it is. We continue to hope he’ll grow out of it even though we know he wont!)

      My son is a junior in high school, so we started the process in his IEP. As an adult, your gs can apply directly for services (with your help as needed) at your local Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. At least it’s DVR here in WA state.

      You are an AMAZING grandma.

      Good luck to you both!

    • #135148
      JohnH
      Participant

      Thank you so much for the encouraging words!! I have spoken with VR here in Atlanta, and they no longer schedule appointments. You just go and have to wait (they may have had some people that did not keep their appts., and not call to cancel) not sure just a thought. I have read reviews from parents that took their young adults to the program, and after going through the program was not successful in finding employment. Even though John did graduate he was in classes with very few students, and had one on one teacher when needed. I think he was so supported (and he did need it), that maybe he is unsure of what degree of support he will have at a workplace setting. He is unable to tell or count money. His memory is so poor, even with taking Ritalin. His community based support lady has told us to sit tight at this point. Again, thank you so much for your reply. It helps so much to have support, especially when you are a 70 y/o grandma. Thank you, Sharon Harvey

    • #135253
      Lcswmom
      Participant

      I don’t know anything. I’m just realizing I have ADD and I’m reading through this website and crying. I’ve been crying for days. I’m in my 50s. I have struggled my entire life. So I am sympathetic to your son. I think he should apply at Kroger. They are so very kind, it seems, hiring differently abled.

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