March 29, 2019 at 8:09 am #112927joeandkarenkParticipant
My 17-year-old daughter is diagnosed with ADD and has challenges with executive function. She gets excellent grades, is active in musics and drama activities and has a part time job. Our family struggle is she is completely disorganized ad has terrible time management skills She needs to figure this out on her own, but her behavior impacts our family greatly. Always late because she cannot be ready on time without constant nagging and yelling. She is consistently late for school even though she is driven every day. Phone and switch game appears to me to be a constant distraction but realize she has to figure it out for herself at this age. She also has to be reminded constantly about the few chores she is assigned (most of the time I just give up)
She rejects all tactics and ideas to help with time management and organization. She is on a lower dose of Adderall and is now asking for a higher dose. She was seeing a phycologist who diagnosed her several years ago but is not longer seeing anyone.
My concern is that no one is following her on the meds, her primary doctor sees her 1 x a year. I believe she views this as a quick fix and won’t try other methods. I try very hard not to nag her about electronics but I see the result and its so frustrating. It is affecting our home life. I have some names of counselors to try again.
Any other parents with suggestions on similar situation?
April 1, 2019 at 11:57 am #113063Penny WilliamsKeymaster
Have you considered an ADHD coach? She needs help creating a tailored system of tools and strategies to help her succeed despite poor time management and such, which is her brain, not a choice.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
April 1, 2019 at 12:39 pm #113064Skypark962Participant
Maybe it’s just me, but it takes me 3hrs to get ready for the day. 2-2.5 if I’m pressed. But everytime that alarm goes on and I’m tempted to hit “snooze,” I just know—I will NEED that time.
1.) Being late= I tend to like structure, so if you have to leave school at “x” time—get her used to getting up earlier w/o exception. I also give myself 30m to actually put on shoes, fill water battle and get things together. I think, “Oh, it won’t take that long just to grab the keys n go,” BUT it always does lol
2.) Organization Tools= If she likes electronics, check out this article here on additude. I haven’t read the full article, but they’ve listed some great app tools to help with: To-do lists, reminders, organization and time mgmt. I need to get these myself. Look for the article titled, “38 Apps and Add-Ons That Transformed My Productivity.” I’d post the link, but apparently you cannot link anything in this chat & get it to successfully post!
3. Distractions= Here’s what I’ve learned, when I start studying—I remove my phone, close fb etc. As nice as distractions are, they can lead us to further attention problems. My parents had strict rules about no tv during the week—this may be extreme since she’s getting good grades….but maybe there’s some room to edit the phone games when they’re supposed to be “listening/taklking” to you—this is a tough one. Maybe she plays the games to relax before school–I do pc games at night…..
4.) My mom made me a chore box that I did certain chores on certain days. She had us do our own laundry, pack our lunches etc. I used to DRIVE HER CRAZY at first, bc she’d tell me to do something & I wouldn’t do it—-I don’t learn auditorily, so it’d go in one ear & out the next. Writing her chores on a piece of scrap paper, you know she gets it & you have the right to nag if it’s not completed.
Counseling or ADHD coach—great ideas. The medication helps with prioritizing tasks, organizing tasks etc….but over the years, I’ve def taught myself “tricks” and know where my pitfalls are.
You’re just trying to help form her into a good little adult. I applaud you—it’s not easy in adolescence bc you’re treading the line of helping/letting them be themselves.
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