Reply To: I talk to myself

Sam k

Dave 123-
You mentioned terms I have never come across before: default mode network and positive network, will research a little into this.

Currently I’m not taking meds I don’t have a diagnosis for ADHD.
I have only ever been diagnosed with chronic depression and paranoid personality disorder. I have been medicated for depression because to begin worth that’s all I told them. Those drugs are hell they don’t work for me, side effects and withdrawal is shocking.

I have only gone down the mental health route, I never opted for psycho therapy or cognitive behavioural therapy. Because of my brain my world is black and white, I either gel with somebody or I don’t, I think people like us are more intuitive, we read people differently/ better than non ADHD people. I found one psychologist quite patronising and never went back for a second meeting. I spoke to a counsellor and a GP who looked at me like I was a freak. One Gp said “you need to get out there and live your life” , the stigma is real, they can make you feel quite stupid.

I need to speak to my doctor and tell them I think the problem may be a genetic neurological problem.

I have asked for a brain scan in the past, the doc said it won’t show anything plus I would be exposed to a high level of radiation.

Mindfulness is something I find works once I focus my mind, I still think there is a malfunction in my brain and I need meds thoguh.

If I’m honest when I am alone I am the person I want to be in real life. When I am around real people I can be completely unsociable, I even have an avoidant streak in my personality. I would rather be alone in my day dream than I’m the real world. I don’t feel joy, I only feel negative emotions, i think the problem is in the frontal lobe which is why I have problems with emotions, cognition etc

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Sam k.