It sounds to me like you may have an element of rejection sensitivity disorder or social anxiety. I feared for a long time what the actual doctor would think of me. Plus my adhd and comorbid anxiety made it hard for me to effectively communicate my issues…. which I still struggle with. Even now when I go to the psychiatrist I feel like I am complaining about my laziness or lack of self-discipline.
My suggestion would be to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist to address ADHD. Tell them you sought help from a family doctor who you think may have misdiagnosed your ADHD with depression. Which the depression meds only led you to feel worse. Maybe mention how long you’ve been struggling with this and how it has lead you to feel as though you are not living up to your full potential/ affecting your quality of life.
And that maybe you have been depressed but you think it may be a response to your untreated ADHD. Something that helps me is that I am making these appointments to try and better myself. At the end of the day, yes that Doctor may judge you or yes they may deep down think ADHD doesn’t exist. But you cannot give up on seeking help for yourself even if that means finding another opinion/doctor. But it does take a while to get an appointment. It took me a long time to build up the courage to simply make the phone call…. and even when I did then I had to wait months to actually see them.
So my advice is to make an appointment!! And keep your head up!
Oh and another key thing is “medication is just a tool in your toolbox”. Coping strategies + right medication/dosage + counseling/mindfulness/balanced thoughts + healthy habits = TREATMENT! But don’t get overwhelmed… life is a constant journey of growth, struggle, improvement, learning, etc.
I wish you well!