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Thanks so much for all your supportive comments. I’m starting to come to terms with an embrace the diagnosis now. There has been a lot of crying but that’s mostly frustration after a bad day of work.
B-man, I am glad you got diagnosed and are looking into support options. It sounds like we’re at a similar stage. It’s good you have some support from those around you. And yes, a massive good luck. This is all so daunting but kind of exciting now we know what we’re facing and can do something about it to move forward with life more. My housemates is being super lovely and supportive and shouting at me to tell me to get ready for work…
momeowee, i am so sorry you feel your family were ashamed of you. But then your relatives also having their own struggles, shows we’re all only human and hopefully that’s reframed your feeling of shame. Yes, my life runs on lists too. Don’t know what i’d do without them. Ensuring the list doesn’t get lost though is another challenge! Off nights now. Sleep clock is all over the place. Melatonin – not sure i can get that. I just have to listen to stuff on my phone a few times and each time will usually fall asleep.
I relate to so much of what you’re all saying. Spaceboy99, definitely relate to the things being 10x harder than they need to be even when you appear to be coping fine. And that is such a good point about the best case/worst case scenario. I think your comment actually helped me decide that yes, I will try medication. So thanks for that! I hope you get assessed soon and get some answers.
vlterell, I’m glad you got the explanation you needed and got the root problem diagnosed.
trandyjohnson, I don’t think i’m upset by it. I think I’m actually really relieved.In a way it feels like a gift as I don’t think I’ll be beating myself up so much about my difficulties now.
gretagrits, thanks so much for all the great advice. I think there is a clear family history. My Dad is impossible to have a conversation with without him being distracted and my Grandma likely had it too although was diagnosed with depression. Pretty sure my sister has it too as she failed university the first time due to not knowing about deadlines etc and she’s worse than me for getting to places on time.
The psychiatrist who diagnosed me was absolutely brilliant. Totally non judgemental. Sent me a really long letter within a couple of days with really good explanations on for why he thought I had it. He didn’t need to say a lot to get so much information out of me that I haven’t told anyone else. He basically got my life story in 2 hrs. And yes, there was a lot from childhood that helped him even though I didn’t get my parents to fill out the form as I chickened out of asking them (mainly because I went private and thought they’d be angry I was spending my money on it but they don’t know how much I’m struggling). My friend filled out a form really brutally honestly and that and what I said was all he needed to make the diagnosis as well as many things that have been said to me over the years by employers etc. Things that are said on a daily basis tbh. Even though I’ve been diagnosed with inattentive type, I am pretty hyperactive. I fidget a lot and am definitely always on the go, in a different city/adventure every weekend, nearly killing myself in extreme sports, driving mishaps etc. Am always running about rather than walking, climbing trees etc.
I’ve started reading ‘delivered from distraction’ and the symptom test for adults chapter made me laugh out loud it was so accurate. It is such a good book. I love Ned Hallowell.
Because I trust this psychiatrist I am going to try meds. Work can be ok, enjoyable, mentally stimulating, but so much of the time my issues make it almost impossible to do my job well and so much of the time I’m completely overwhelmed. And that is not depression. It is too many distractions, complete information overload and too many tasks to juggle and prioritise and my brain just shuts down.