Having been diagnosed at 44 this year and made many mistakes given the responsibilities of marriage, children and work there is definitely a trap of depression that an ADD mind can fall into. When it was it’s worst for me I couldn’t hear the world for the dark monkeys playing havoc inside my head. I got to the stage where I thought I was going mad and demented and made some seriously bad choices. If you are ADD then it will come as a relief, after the fallout and once you’ve handled the possible shame you might feel.
But if your partner is still there and as exasperated as she might be, she must have hope. Makes you a lucky guy with a terrific future for you all. Just don’t f*** it up, it’s going to be hard trudging uphill but it will be worth it. Stay strong and know that with ADD the best bit is that you aren’t like all the others which is probably why she wanted to be with you in the first place.