Reply To: Think I got diagnosed today – scared to talk to parents, scared to go on meds

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gretagrits
Participant

I am so sorry you are going through all of these emotions and you have so many questions that were not answered by the diagnosing practitioner.
My suggestion(s) and I have several, Google ADHD Inattentive/Hyperactive, read any and all info you can find, buy the book Driven By Distraction written by Dr. Ed Hollowell, read this book from cover to cover (he is a world renowned ADHD specialist, that actually knows what he’s writing about because he also has ADHD) write a list of questions, CRY, CRY and CRY some more. I was diagnosed at the age of 30 (shortly after my then 10 year old son was DXed) when I reasearched ADHD on the Internet and read stories by people that had the same experiences, troubles, tales as myself, I cried a river. Hell, I cried for days. It was the justification I needed to believe I wasn’t dumb, lazy, crazy, stupid, mentally challenged or special needs. I had ADHD!!! I learn differently than most people. My brain works differently , it doesn’t NOT work at all, it just work differently. And not all ADHD is the same even if we are both Inattentive/Hyperactive. Not only that, but ADHD will change as you age. Were I was definitely Inattentive/Hyperactive when I was younger, as I have aged the Hyperactive component of the diagnosis has dissipated and now at a month shy of my 50th birthday, I find the Inattentive aspect has totally taken over. I’m not the thrill seeking, risk taker I once was in my youth. Part of that is that my body cannot handle the thrills I once craved. I really feel those “thrills” the next day and for days after. Not fun at all, especially when you have to pay the Orthopedic doctor bill(s) that follow. Focus is my main issue now or lack there of.
Peri-menopause has wreaked havoc on this whole situation too. But I’m getting off subject here so….SQUIRREL!!!! (That’s an ADHD joke)
Another great book by the above author is “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid” You can find both of these on Amazon or probably at your local library. I highly recommend anything written by Dr. Hollowell. He is awesome. Another suggestion, find a good physician, one that will REALLY listen to you. I don’t believe you mentioned any other aspects of your life except being bullied and being in an abusive relationship (which believe it or not, I have experienced both.) A good physician will ask you about your school experience from elementary all the way through college if you attended (documentation is an excellent source of information/reference for your physician) Any family input will be helpful also to provide examples or visual proof of your hyperactivity. Are there familial examples, such as your father, mother, brother(s), sister(s) that also have ADHD? It generally runs in the family, but may not present the same.
The best advice I can give you is do your research. Be your own advocate. The physician you see for this can only base his his diagnosis and plan of care on the information you provide and if you go in educated and prepared, you will get the best care and be on the path to controlling and learning to live with ADHD.
Another thing to remember, you have ADHD, it doesn’t have you. Only you can determine if you make the most of this diagnosis. It is part of what makes you who you are. When you learn to use the diagnosis to your advantage, it can be one of the best things about you. There are a lot of very creative, intelligent, intellectual, business savvy individuals with this awesome, wild, interesting, roller coaster of a disorder.
You Got This!!!
Good Luck,
g.

P.S.
Find a support group, either virtual or one you actually attend in person. Just Google one in your area. If you cannot find one, try a virtual group. It helps to be able to talk with people that are/have been where you are and where you are going. They can guide you and offer support on days when you will really need it.
And as for the naysayers, those are the ignorant, uneducated people. They will never understand, you won’t be able to explain it because they don’t have the pleasure of living it. It’s a mute point. As far as disclosing it to your employer, unless you need special accommodations (quiet space to work,little to no distractions ect… my opinion (and this is solely just mine, please do what you feel is best for you) I would not involve your employer. From that day forward, you will be labeled. As much as it is against the law for them to treat you differently, they will. Just my opinion and suggestion(s).