OMG, I will be 50 next month and the people that know me ie, “work friends” my boyfriend, family ect… know me and accept me (probably because they have to.) I always seem to voice what everyone else around me is thinking and won’t say because it’s 99% of the time, inappropriate or should’ve been left unsaid, BUT leave it to me. I try to recover with humor, which works a majority of the time and again the people that know me expect it. Most of the time I’m not taken seriously and that can be good and bad.
As far as friends go, I have NO close friends and up until recently I couldn’t figure out why. Well, HELLO. Confrontation used to bother me too. Anymore, I don’t stress about it or over think it. Life is too short and I have way too much going on to worry about whether I have offended every person I have a conversation with. I don’t intentionally or knowingly hurt anyone’s feelings, I just don’t waste my time dwelling on conversations that I think might have caused an issue anymore.
I am however, hypersensitive to what I call “static” or crazy vibes in the air. I can immediately tell if someone is talking about me as soon as I walk in a room or I can tell if someone is upset with me instantly. This does bother me. It’s the static or vibe that drives me crazy. It’s like nails on a chalkboard and at times almost physically hurts. I will drive my boyfriend crazy until he spills it or just tells me he needs some space to get over “it” and then we can talk. I like to call this my “ sixth sense. “ It can very be eerie at times, well honestly most of the time.
I hope you get some answers or maybe helpful suggestions in regards to how you can better deal with future “misunderstandings.” I have found though that unless people really understand me and who I truly am, they know I am harmless and my heart is always in the right place. If they don’t know that much about me, they don’t really know me at all.
One last thing, a friend once told me; only worry about the things you can change, don’t waste your time on the things you can’t. So I guess what I’m saying is, you are who you, PERIOD. Don’t change who you are for anyone. Either they will accept you for the awesome person I’m sure you are and the tremendous attributes you have/do offer to any friendship or they aren’t worthy of having a friendship with you. Maybe that’s why my best friend is my boyfriend, because I haven’t met anyone else worthy of having a friendship with myself.