I am 62 years old. I was diagnosed after my daughter was when she was 4 years old. She is 32 now.
Over the years I have found that I have to maintain the medication level consistently to not go through the issues you are experiencing. It took awhile to work out dosages. I found extended release amphetamine salts caused me to “crash” later in the day. Probably the same time you are getting home from work for dinner, family ect. I found taking 30 mg in the am and either 10 or 20 mid day stopped the chemical drop off to make it through the evenings.
The most important thing I realized is that consistency is critical. I don’t stop taking it over the weekends or vacations ect. ADHD is a lack of sufficient dopamine to keep on task. Working with a psychologist to develop consistent habits and tools to stay on task with things non ADDR’S don’t struggle with will free up your having to deal with issues as well. I.E. my work badge gets hung on my car rearview mirror as soon as I leave work, my house door locks need me to insert the key to lock it so I never lock myself out, I still use a daily notebook style task organizer instead of just my phone. I use the voice recorder in my phone if unable to jot a note immediately so I can get past trying to remember to do whatever…all these “tricks ” I learned through a great psychologist early on after diagnosis and re-tuned throughout the years.
You’ll get there. Your spouse will be an asset helping you identify what to focus on once you find the right doctor. It to me a few doctors until I found one that helped me make it all click. Once you do, you will realize that having ADD is an asset and not a liability.
Hope this helps.