Reply To: Need advise for house cleaning/organization

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#99286
SheilaM
Participant

WOW! Super topic! I really appreciate hearing others problems and suggestions! Bottom line, we are all human and capable of all the same behaviors whether we have ADD, ADHD, or don’t know! I am one who “THINKS” I have Adult ADD. The more I am reading about young girls with this, makes me feel if they had the diagnosis back when I was a child (born in 1956), I would have been diagnosed with it. I have not been diagnosed yet, but my Psychologist does not diagnose this and because from the start I went in asking for tools and “NO DRUGS”, but she couldn’t prescribe them anyway. She feels I am doing well enough without a referral to a qualified Psychiatrist for this diagnosis (my ADD suspicion). I have been in therapy since July 2015, for severe PTSD and anxiety , after finally escaping a severe domestic violence and severe emotional trauma, marriage.
I used to be a Big Pharma sales rep, who got sick of making people sicker by doctors piling on more drugs to manage the new symptoms, and switched to Nutraceutical sales and trained doctors of all principals in Applied Clinical Nutrition/Integrative Medicine, for a world class company. My X, ruined that most loved career by lying to my boss about me not needing my job anymore (which was a lie) which led to me being replaced and let go, because my boss thought I didn’t have the heart to tell him myself! My abusive husband had me where he wanted me, unemployed and unable to escape him.
I had been an independent contractor and had to organize myself as a small business with great details, organization and responsibilities, but it was because of my great energy and ability to super multi-task, any distractions were acceptable because I controlled every aspect! I was a messy person always, but I shrugged it off because I had so much responsibility. I knew when I didn’t complete things, that my accounts were just as busy and I could get away with SOME things left undone where in other jobs in my past, were unacceptable! I was single and could live with my mess and unorganized life!
I’m told by my Psychologist that he trauma I experienced from the unmentionable horrors my X did to me, required my brain to go into survival mode, to protect me, but since I left him, my symptoms of ADD/ADHD have exploded! By what I believe is God’s Grace, I was noticed by a remarkable man, 10 yrs younger than me, who fell in love with me, at first sight! We have been living together since our first date for 3 years +, in the most wonderful relationship we have both, ever experienced! He is ultra ORGANIZED and had worked in the medical field, for a world class medical company where he supervised up to 25 employees! I suffer severe guilt, because I am still trying to unpack two semi trailers of my belongings I brought with me, for the last 2 years! I struggle daily, trying to just open the moving boxes, filled with everything I just threw in, without sorting or tossing or leaving behind, when I left my abuser husband. When my Psychologist gives me names of a specialist who helps with hoarding, organizing,downsizing, cleaning etc., I wind up losing the phone numbers in the piles of papers and other stuff I struggle to organize, so I never even make the call for help! I want to… but I wind up being so distracted with “OTHER STUFF” by the time I remember to call, I have lost the paper or notebook with the name and number I promised her I would call! Sometimes, I feel like I am going crazy, because I know I am capable of extreme organization and accomplishment, but also know I used to leave MANY, many things UNDONE! I don’t know how my partner can stand me! Thank goodness, he was in therapy since a child, for help from an abusive step father, so he understands what can happen to people! He has been in group therapy where he listened to many, many examples of other people’s problems. He left marriage of a wife who refused to seek help with postpartum depression, who’s house is still a zillion times worse than my housekeeping! I live in constant fear that unless I can find someway to do anything that will help me, that I will loose him because of my inability to unpack, sort, toss, donate and keep a tidy house he says he wants! I just cannot keep on track much less apply for a job, because I am so disorganized! I hate to think of where I would be and what I would do, without him! All these posts are so helpful and I hope to read more! If anyone can address or comment, I am grateful! I really think I need to go see a Psychiatrist to be tested! One friend of mine gave me an ADD/ADHD capsule to try, and my whole world changed for the day! I could and did organize things without any trouble at all! It was like a miracle answer to this problem I experience! Why wouldn’t someone be prescribed something that helps? All I hear is how many doctors will NOT prescribe because these drugs are in such an abused drug class! I AM SO DISORGANIZED, I CANNOT EVEN MAKE THE NEXT MOVE TO HELP MYSELF, IT SEEMS!….. HELP!