Hey, I’m glad you wrote again. Full disclosure – I have not written on an ADHD forum before so keep that in mind.
I’m completely changing my opinion on this; the first time I reacted with the memory of my own frustration, working and trying, to the point of a nervous breakdown by the end of high school and still being told that all I had to do was to make an effort.
You know what though? I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my late twenties and my daughter was 2 before I went on medication. I have an extreme case too. After growing up without knowing I had ADHD, not knowing that other people find things so easy and with no understanding or accomodations, the thought of being able to grow up the way your son did sounds like a dream. And having an ADHD coach!!! That would be fantastic.
Maybe he does need to grow up to an extent. As I said, I’m going the other way now, but it is one thing to support him- place to live and a coach- and another to do it for him.