Oh, I feel for you and know how you feel. When I told my mother I had ADHD, she laughed and said how could you have ADHD, you are the most organized person I know. I tried explaining to her that, while I can be organized and HYPER focused, it doesn’t mean I don’t have ADHD. I also realized that I have Rejection Sensitivity (I know there is controversy over this as a ‘diagnosis’, but geez, I feel like someone is inside my brain when they write about it. (Especially Elizabeth Broadbent ) It helped explain why I had challenges with friends and relationships; why I always was more sensitive then those around me – and why my son is as well.
You are not alone. And like the other two commenters said, learn all you can, join online support groups, figure out what you like. Just because you are an adult and a parent, it doesn’t mean you know what helps you. I bet as a parent, you spend most of your time trying to help your child. We all do, but it is ok to help yourself too :-). It won’t make it all ‘go away’ and you won’t one day wake up and not have to ‘deal with it’ anymore, but you will wake up feeling better about yourself over time because you have finally learned to validate your own feelings and figure out what works for you.
Good Luck and keep us updated.