I believe there is more going on than ADHD, too, because very often there is something else, like anxiety. I don’t think it’s wise to give an ultimatum, but like the first response said, you need to communicate what’s going on inside. I would suggest going with him to appointments to tell the doctor what you see. My husband and daughter are both terrible at mentally cataloging and remembering what goes on between appointments, sometimes to the extent that my jaw drops and I stare in shock. My daughter will say she’s fine, like it’s a social call or something, even when she’s a mess. I put my two cents in regularly. As for medication compliance, he is the only one who can do it, but the doctor may be able to reassure him that whatever objections he has about taking the meds is unfounded. Always make sure the doctor knows as much as possible. They may need to change or adjust his medication or educate him about it. A piece of unsolicited advice you should feel free to to ignore is to seriously consider whether you should have children together. Many conditions are hereditary and it is devastating to realize you passed your struggles on to someone else. We both passed on our “stuff” and I often think it would’ve been so much better if we had fostered or adopted children. My postpartum depression changed all our lives for the worse, not to mention that I would feel compassion, but not guilt or responsibility for passing on the issues a nonbiological child would face. I say that now because you may want to be extra super careful now even if you aren’t anywhere near thinking of kids. I wish someone would’ve told me that in the early days, so I’m telling you.