Hello! I’m happy to see this discussion. We’ve been through it, but I did not realize the number of other families considering it. I don’t want to repeat too many others’ examples, but I do want to say we had the same concerns as you. It was easier for us because we switched schools. Our son was diagnosed in 3rd grade. He finished 4th grade at the public school and since we were switching him to a private school anyway, we took the opportunity to enroll him as a 4th grader. It was the best decision we ever made for his education. Even his teachers agree. He was in the gifted program in public school, but his maturity was clearly lagging and he was not engaged. He knows he was not “held back,” which as others have mentioned, is the downside (stigma, self-esteem). In our case, we were able to explain that he would be learning a completely different curriculum for 4th grade at the new school–which he did, and it was MUCH more academically rigorous and engaging! The smaller class size, being with kids of similar maturity and a curriculum that fed his learning style were the magic that made it work.
The only area where he felt a bit self-conscious was when his Boy Scout friends all went up a grade without him. But he just explained that this was where he fit in his new school and he was learning so much cool stuff. So he’s okay with it. They all went to “middle school” last year while he was still in 5th grade.
I hear the naysayers, like JBoo, but do you really think we would spend an extra $10k for an extra year of schooling if we didn’t think it was the absolute best decision for our son? No way. We invested in his future by giving him the appropriate elementary education that he would need to build on later in life.