I’m sorry that was your experience telling someone your suspicion that ADHD might be behind your struggles. His reaction is WRONG. There are many people with two degrees (myself among them) whose ADHD went undetected until we were out of school. The thing about ADHD is it can result in significant deficits that are incongruent with our strengths, and people minimize what we try to tell them about our deficits (which we often also minimize to some degeee out of shame) and/or they just don’t understand. It is ENTIRELY possible you have ADHD. What you are describing is more than enough to warrant seeking out professional opinions, and more than one if you aren’t confident in the first. You may or may not have ADHD (although it sounds very likely) but you deserve professional help for the problems you are having whatever the cause. (And there IS professional help out there.) And no, the problems you are having are NOT typical/what “everyone” goes through- at least outside of places like this message board!
Even with treatment, we still have (or I think of myself as “am”) ADHD. There are some things we do have to accept. But the level of distress and feeling so profoundly dysfunctional is not among them. There is help out there for that.
I am proud to be ADHD. I am also beyond relieved and grateful to finally have the treatment I need to make my life work better for me.
I also echo the sentiments of the other posters.
Good luck! Keep us posted!