Hey OP. I’m so sorry you’re hurting and overwhelmed. DONT GIVE UP, and don’t believe the lie that you are BROKEN or ALONE. We are your community. We are walking through the same daily difficulties, and we understand how painful and lonely and frustrating it can feel.
Please remember that your family LOVES you and they want to help, even if they don’t understand exactly what you are feeling.
After I was diagnosed I had the same trouble expressing myself, and my mother had a deeply misguided understanding of what ADHD actually is. As I learned more about it, I would send my mom articles and lectures and videos that had helped me understand, and then she was able to see into my world a little more clearly. We began to communicate so much better because I wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed to tell her when i had reached my limit in a stressful conversation, or when I had forgotten to do something.
Just last night, she came into my bedroom to ask a question, and as she was walking out she asked what I was doing (I was sitting on the floor). I burst into tears because I didn’t know! I couldn’t for the life of me remember what I had been about to do. She had come in and asked a simple question, so I had forgotten what I was in the middle of. I just sat there crying And told her i’d Forgotten. Instead of being confused or frustrated by my outburst, she came to sit with me, and APOLOGIZED for distracting me in the middle of a task. She helped me calm down and asked if she should leave or try to help me remember.
That was only able to happen because of an article I had sent her about emotional dysregulation.
I don’t know if that story helped at all, but I sure hope it will at least encourage you, and remind you that you are NOT alone. And we, at least, are here for you, friend.
Reach out on the site if you need to. We’re Here