Reply To: Loss of relationship because of over medication

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#91290
rebell90
Participant

Hey there!

So, in addition to very extreme ADHD, I am also a recovering alcoholic. (First treatment for alcohol withdrawal at 19 years old, I guess I ave my mom was to thank—all natives of County donegal Ireland). Anyway, the first few “rounds of sobriety attempts, my life was still a mess, even in my 12 step program that includes meetings, prayer, working the steps with a sponsor, etc. tbe 8-9tb Step, aka “amends” was so hard for me, bc my untreated adhd as destructive as active alcoholism., if not worse. Anyway, been sober for almost a year, along with simultaneously treated my adhd with adderral XR and a multiprude of cooing skills from strenuous running and yoga to iPhone Siri reminders and planners!

Anyway, this is the first time my amends are not causing me fear and pain, bc my actions finally say I’m sorry for the way I acted.
Your partner hopefully should see it was def the medication simply due to the change in YOU, but warning: it may take a bit of time.

Anyway, as far as apologizing, my best advice(what works for me):
You, your doc, and whoever seem to KNOW yes it was med side effect, BUT even though it was a cause out of your control, it still fruited actions and attitudes that hurt your partner, regardless if it was acting out of your true self or not. The best received amends I’ve made, are the ones I’ve stuck to the things I did , intentionally or not, that hurt the other. I would start with a script like .. “hey , i wanted to say when we were together and I *insert action* I think made you feel “*insert what emotions like scared frustrated sad etc*. I’m taking steps to be more *insert goal qualities*. And if there is anything i can do to make it right, I’d like to do that”. No mention of med I suggest, bc it can to others come off justifyable, eventually your partner may even say the med was def the cause of behavior changes:) and if there is backlash on what they reply, just listen and don’t interrupt is what works best in my experience, keep an open mind, we all can’t help how we feel, and justification can seem like invalidating the hurt we cause of another. When we listen to the emotions of others , it say “I care about your needs” and they see that, and usually reflect back

Best wishes !!