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Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s perfectly normal to not read instructions, especially if you’re 1, male, and 2, ADD. (Funny joke. Why does it take 400 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they won’t ask directions.) So just do the best you can. Often there’s no need to read the instructions, or at least not all of them. Then, when your impulsiveness gets you in trouble, take a step back and regroup. You can always recover if you slow down, back up, and get things under control. I’m 68 now. I didn’t know I had ADD until I was ~40. If I had known these things when I was in high school, it would’ve made a huge difference for me. Good luck!