Reply To: New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice Reply To: New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice


Help! I’ve been dating on and off this guy since November of 2017. Looking back, I initiated all of the break ups….. perhaps related to ADHD issues that I am learning about now. The relationship started fast (unlike me to be this way). He professed his love to me and my children (who are adults) within the first 3 weeks. Is this ADHD behavior? Does it make the words spoken less real? By week 4, I was feeling major changes with him…. actually I felt them in week 3. He had run out of his medication and started self medicating with pot. That drove me nuts. He’s seeing s shrink now who is getting him off the pot. He was/is impulsive…. I wondered if he was manic but now I see that it is ADHD as he told me initially but I didn’t understand it. We’ve been struggling ever since. I love him so really am trying to learn more about ADHD now and reading the 5 Love Languages too. Since the initial weeks of professing his love, he has told me he loves me only a few more times….in more emotionally charged situations. I just don’t feel the love though. He forgets to call or text me. He’s not good at planning dates ahead of time. If I didn’t initiate getting together, woukd he forget about me? Yet… when he is with me, he is really with me. I’ve read this is typical but doesn’t make it any easier on me. I feel as if I am nagging or being demanding when that really isn’t my nature. How do I get consistency from him without nagging?