Reply To: New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice

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This post is interesting and informative! I recently started dating a man (4 months) with ADHD.

Similar to most of the comments, he was focused and adoring initially but that excitement has waned. Many of things he said he wanted to do, he has not followed up on or spoke of after those initial conversations. And when I bring them up he usually has forgotten what he said and committed to. Sometimes when we talk, he will jump between different topics and completley forget to ask me about my day or other areas of my life. My daughter has ADHD so I “somewhat” understand the behavior but dating and mothering are different and although he is a wonderful man—I am becoming frustrated. If you ask him, he thinks our relationship is going great! Almost to the point of saying the L word.

When we discussed the disconnect that I have been feeling he felt completely blindsided and was surprised.

The other thing is he feels completely inadequate when it comes to planning dates with me. We spend alot time talking on the phone, texting and hang out at home: cooking, lounging but I want to be dated lol Outside of my apartment… when I spoke with him anout this he uses his ADHD excuse and doesnt feel like he can plan something that I will like.

Im starting to feel like these issues are beyond adhd…? Id love any feedback from those with adhd or married to/dating someone with adhd.

Let me say this, he is a great guy and when he is in the zone he is loving and very supportive. Id like to try to understand him and work with him… and he wants to do better, but hasnt made much effort.