I’m new too, and waiting for my appointment with a psychiatrist to get my official diagnosis. But I definitely don’t think you’re “reaching.” An appointment is definitely worth it- maybe more than one if your family doctor doesn’t listen to you.
I’m terrified of not being taken seriously for some of the reasons you are. (And you and I have a lot in common in terms of our symptoms. Including doing well in adrenaline or crisis situations, absorption in a passionate activity, difficulty getting to appointments and a lack of a sense of time, and on and on.) I think coming off as drug seeking is really scary, especially because by now I am so convinced I have ADHD and so desperate for treatment that I’m like “Please please please give me meds!” (I’m scared of losing my job.)
I’m planning on printing out some of the self-assessments that led me to think I have ADHD and to write some notes as to how the symptoms match me. There is a checklist specifically for adult women here in which I meet like every criteria. There is also a list of “things that mean you DON’T have ADD” (I don’t remember if it’s on this website or a different one) and I am the reverse of every criterion there. (“If you don’t do well in a crisis, you likely don’t have ADD”- welp, I do so well in a crisis.) These are the kinds of things I was going to bring.
I think also talking about how you realiZe your symptoms are similar to your dad’s can be very powerful and clear.
I’ve been listening to the audiobook of Sari Solden’s “Women with Attention Deficit Disorder” and it’s also incredibly eye-opening. It’s made me feel less alone and less crazy. (She also cites the book You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy? a lot.) Her checklist is also online I think if you don’t get a physical copy of the book, like I didn’t.
You and I both deserve help, I don’t think you sound like you’re makibg stuff up, and it sounds to me like you’ve definitely been managing a bigger problem!