– Acceptance. While it seems at the time you are making the best decisions, life has taught you that your decision making ability is faulty. You need to accept that this is a challenging area for you and that it is a result of biology that is outside your control. You also need to find a way (therapy, medication, acceptance) to let go of the shame. Remember, ADHD is, among other things, a defect in your executive function.
I never quite got this. Accept what? That my executive function has, and will continue to, predisposed me to repeated humiliation? Accept that I will fail more times than not where others find it easier? Accept that the only reason I made it through school is because I took longer to do it, but now in the work world there isn’t a possible way to take longer to do something because there’s like, really really important deadlines and stuff? F_ck all this. This diagnosis was not a relief. It’s just one more nail. All I see is yet another long tunnel where I can’t see the end of it, or even if an end exists. The only thing keeping me from checking out is my son.
As for the OP, wow you’ve endured alot. Life sure sucks doesn’t it? Sorry, I wish I had better news for you but it sucks and it will continue to do so. I’m frankly amazed at your tenacity and perseverence. Kudos to you.