Reply To: Offloading responsibilities I've taken on

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Step number one is to acknowledge at what level everyone in the house cares about these things. Some people don’t mind messiness to a certain degree, or least don’t think all the work involved in keeping things well organized and clean is worth it. So, your standards may be higher than anyone you’re asking to live up to them. Back up and have the conversation. What level of clean is everyone willing to support with their efforts? Really dig deep into this conversation, as it will help understand the difference between needing to be reminded, and just not wanting to participate. Nagging comes, most often, from asking for something from someone who doesn’t really want to give it the first place.

All that said, most people don’t want to wear stinky clothes or eat off of dirty dishes. So there is a common standard above “complete mess” that most people want to maintain. Be willing to compromise to find that zone where everyone will want to participate because the effort warrants — in their mind — the payoff. In short, if you are dictating the standard, you are going to meet with resistance from anyone who has a different standard.

Of course, you didn’t mention where ADHD might play a role here, but if that’s a variable, it must be addressed first.