Wow! You put a lot in there, but I can relate. I am 69 and was diagnosed last month.
ADHD has a genetic component, so it is good that you know your father has it,
I have invented and reinvented myself many times: many jobs, relationships, and financial disasters.
Just knowing that we aren’t crazy, just wired differently helps.
Definitely, get diagnosed. If you are dealing with ADHD, work with getting the meds you need (they will slow down your mind) and get the skills for handling your life (ADHD brains deal differently than others). This site has a lot of good information and there are others. None of us is exactly the same, so find what is real to you.
Take what you wrote here to your counselor so that they can help.
Hope this helps and good luck.