Calling your child names is bullying, even when they’re an adult. That’s no way to parent.
ADHD is a developmental disorder, so it takes a lot longer to mature.
If your husband is open to reading a book, I highly recommend “Raising Human Beings” and “How to Talk so Your Kids will Listen.” I get the impression he thinks his job is done and that his son has failed the growing up test though, sadly. His dad just simply doesn’t understand him — what’s true for him given the brain he has.
I’m honestly surprised your son hasn’t left home, if he’s treated this way all the time. I wish I had ideas to help, but you can’t change someone who doesn’t see a problem and who does not want to change.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism