Reply To: Wrong decision

#89286
Shirokuma
Participant

I indeed want to go back to where I am good at.
My wife doesn’t want to go back because a while ago I said I didn’t want to go back. My own family is disgraceful and crime here in Japan is very low compared to My own country, Belgium.
A (few) weeks after I said that I fell into depression because here I can’t get a good job. In general feel clumsy, can’t learn well/unintelligent, impulsive, easily annoyed,… .
I just want to go to my previous job as a train driver, there I had very good salary (so my wife can stay at home and do her art work and our child can go to a good school), I was good at driving train and was alone without anybody to annoy me. Just me, machine and tracks. Strangely enough people say ADHD and train driving doesn’t go well together but I felt it was a lot more enjoying. Because I was imagining every relay switch, airflow in brake hose, brake blocks,… my mind was very busy and didn’t get bored.

Because I changed my mind so radically and wanted to go back, my wife doesn’t trust my words anymore. Whatever I will say, I’ll change it later anyway and just create more financial costs. Moving back would cost about 7000euro (8200 USD) what would make it pretty expensive.

Rwfields, every time I say that I have trouble with something because of ADHD I get to hear that I am using it as an excuse to not try harder my best. I think I will keep farming just as a hobby, growing our own vegetabes and not selling. This is Japan and as far as I know there isn’t SBDC or something.