I have to agree with both opinions above. If your son was 16 and still in high school that is a different story. 20 and has a job etc., he needs some help but some counseling or something.
As for your husband… he definitely needs counseling. Or a teddy bear. Lol. Perhaps he sees the potential your son has and doesn’t want him to throw that away.
Your son may need to spread his wings and try to fly out of the nest a few times on his own. He’ll stumble to be sure, but he’ll be ok with your guidance. And then he’ll soar!