Honestly I agree with your therapist. I am the non-ADHD partner in my relationship and I often feel like you do and trust me it doesn’t get easier once you are married. If she is unwilling or unable to make the necessary changes to make this work it won’t work. Just think in 5 or 10 years you may decide to add children or more pets and you will still do a brunt of the work. If she truly loves you and wants to make it work she would be hearing you and your concerns and working on her issues. It sounds like you are doing the work to have a strong relationship, but is she? If you aren’t ready to leave yet I would have an open and frank conversation about this and she if she finally hears you.