But isn’t it being fickle? Every time I make a decision thinking its the best one, fail and try to search a new solution.
I told my wife that I wanted to go back because there I can have a good paid job where she can stay home and my daughter can join an international (more expensive) school. While here I can only get low paying job meaning she also must work and for getting my daughter in a good school my parents-in-law would like to pay. They also want to pay for a car, house and other big costs.
When I said that as train driver in my country we could earn enough without relying on others for money, she blames my language skills. And especially she says I didn’t do my best for studying. When I mention I did my best and because of ADHD I have trouble to focus she says ‘everyone has difficulty with focus during study, it isn’t ADHD’.
After hearing those things I really don’t know what to say (or feel like saying anything anymore).
I am bad at planning and focus so my planning at my farm was first year terrible and this year a little bit better. And I focus incredibly on one vegetable and forget to harvest the other ones. Its better this year then last year but still need to improve.
Also here I get to hear I am not doing my best and am taking advantage of the landlord.
If I say ADHD also here I get the door smacked against my face and being said everybody has those problems and its just me who isn’t doing my best.
As a traindriver I was succesfull and also there I don’t need to search new things to do. I can do what I am good at.