I have an ADHD husband. And I can try to be as understanding as possible… but if he ever expected me to just accept that ADHD meant that he was going to have periodic affairs and that he couldn’t help it —- well, then he could forget being married. JBoom said it so well. ADHD comes with so many hard things, but no one should have to ever accept that their spouse is just gonna cheat now and then.
You are saying she isn’t trying to understand how ADHD affects things. Well, sir, you’re not taking her pain seriously. You’re trying to garner sympathy for hurting her in one of the most painful ways. Face up to the very real damage that you caused. And start using all those fabulous external reminder systems to help you be faithful to your wife, or whoever else you might be in a relationship with. Put post-its around you where you’re tempted at work. Something like “Keep your eyes on your work” or “Choose your wife” or even just “WIFE” if you’re afraid someone will see the messages to yourself. Use your phone to go off at certain times just to check yourself. Seriously. Isn’t your wife worth the effort???? Doesn’t her pain mean anything to you? Or is it all about “honey, but you don’t understaaaaaaaand?”