I can relate. It’s interesting enough- I thought it was just my husband. He has ADHD, as well as my 4 year old son, newly diagnosed. The few days a month I get of peace (meaning the day wasn’t too awful, stimulus is low, behavior is manageable), husband comes home from work and it all goes to hell in a hand basket. Its awful, we’ve discussed our parenting and discipline styles and what works and what doesn’t. The p.h. D. who diagnosed my son discussed with him as well more effective methods. He bullys my niece too, to an awful point and does not see how harmful his words are to a teenage girl. Its embarrassing and talking about it gets us pretty much nowhere. More arguments. My son has no respect for his father, his niece fears him. I can go to therapy and manage my anxiety but for my husband he has no problem and doesn’t find it something that needs addressed. I know ADHD can cause very short tempers and anger issues, so i try to give him some grace. But again, I get help for my weaknesses. It’d be nice if he did the same. Hang in there. You’re not alone.