I tried all of tips and tricks you seem to have done already as well, oils, melatonin, sleeping outside the door cold and miserable while an hour later she wakes back up and comes in my room. And then the dreaded blow up of pure exhaustion followed by the guilt for losing it. I’m single and it’s my daughter so she is in my bed but we both sleep well now. My advice is put a twin mattress on the floor and wait till he grows out of it. You need your sleep!! Mine is 13 and she’s starting to get embarrassed so I think it’s going to be soon!!